You Lost Me 2016

You Lost me

 

It all started with a simple hello and I fell madly in love. I knew my world would never be the same again. I thought you were the best thing that ever happened to me. You said all of the right things and made all the right moves. You said you have never felt this way about anyone before and maybe for some time it was true, but with hindsight, you’re everything I thought you never were. For some reason I thought I knew what real pain felt like, but no amount of time could prepare me for the excruciating pain I feel because of you. Now I finally know what it feels like when a person means everything to you but you mean absolutely nothing to them. I guess I was the fool for allowing you this close to me.

 

 

Getting to know your hearts desires and your fears, was just a few of the exciting times we shared together. There was so many moments I thought to myself…is this really happening? Is it possible to feel this happy with someone? In return I showed you a piece of me that I’ve never showed to anyone before, because I trusted you completely. In my mind I finally found true love…the kind that would last forever and a day. Now all I can think about is everything I gave to you, and that I’ll never get that back.

 

 

All the unanswered questions left me paralyzed with fear and uncontrollable tears. Now I’m at a place I thought I’d never be. I am somebody I would have never imagined. The truth is you wanted the best of both worlds, and for some time you had it your way, but making promises you can’t keep is worse than not making promises at all. Someone once said “Sometimes people don’t understand the promises they’re making, when they make them”. Yes, nobody said it will be easy and no one ever said it would be this difficult either, but when you said forever, I guess you meant until you find someone new.

 

 

I am trying to figure out exactly where things went wrong. I’m questioning everything you ever told me. You lied over and over again, even when you told me I was perfect. So many times you said you are so happy and because I was happy, I thought it must be true, but maybe a happy ever after was never meant to be.

 

 

I guess the worst part is knowing now that I was just someone that filled an empty space in time, while you were searching for another. I guess I was just a footnote in your life story, while you were a chapter in mine. An entire chapter on heartache, deception, betrayal and love lost. You never truly loved me, you just didn’t want to be alone and for a while, it felt like love. In retrospect it was just a huge misunderstanding that led to a shattered heart.

 

 

In the end you took more than you deserve. I’m absorbing on how to heal myself and I will be stronger than ever before. Someday I will be happy and in love again with the right person who will love me more than I’ve ever imagined. I will look back at us and realize that in the end the pain was such an emotional metamorphous and worth suffering for because I found someone who cares for me, loves me unconditionally in a way that I never experienced before and treasure the feeling of togetherness and true commitment. At this moment in time I still get sad about everything that happened. Every now and then reality sets in and hits me unexpectedly, then I realize everything was true and real for me at least, but that my life is better without you.

 

 

Now I’ll erase the messages, delete the numbers, and move on. I’ll have to accept that you are not the person I once thought you were. Yes, it’s hard to forget someone who has given you so much to remember, but every story has an end and in life every ending is just a new beginning.

 

Done