Day 37- Pieces

I had this brief surge of something. I rewrote my resume and cover letter, and applied to jobs, and was thinking about what I wanted.

But I just got pulled back down into where I was before. I don't want to. I don't want to apply to jobs, I don't want to cook, I don't want to go to work. I don't want to talk about it with people.

Thinking about what I want is physically painful. Because I can't have it. So what's the fucking point of thinking of myself and doing for myself when all it does is disappoint and hurt me?

I'm angry, and bitter, and depressed. Don't tell me to keep trying, or look at the bright side, or that it will get better some day. Because it fucking won't.

 

(Definitely learned today that if I want to take photos after work, I have to take my camera with me. If I swing by home to pick up my camera, I stay home.)

Done