modify_evolution
Day 41- Wearing Down
You know, it's ironic that I have this poster that I've got in the background. Because I can't eat enough to finish a loaf of bread before it goes bad, and I can only rarely drink coffee.
I've talked about my stomach issues a couple times during the last 5 years. I've had acid reflux, nausea, and a low appetite for years. But whenever I have an acute stress response, it gets worse. When Casey was diagnosed, my stomach bled. After she died, I lost a ton of weight, and had serious problems with acid reflux. I have problems finding a doctor who cares. It takes months to get an appointment with a GI doctor, and by then, I'm back to my baseline (which is still not okay). When my stomach bled, it took three months to get an endoscopy (the ER wouldn't do it because my blood pressure was fine), and by then all they found was a small hiatal hernia (where your stomach gets caught up around your esophagus). So since then, I keep getting doctors who say that my hernia isn't big enough to warrant my symptoms, and to stop eating spicy food. Which. Yes. But that's not the only thing wrong, and sometimes I can't even drink water without it coming back up. But you know, it's clearly not a big deal, because I'm "too young" and my hernia's "not bad enough." Fuck you. If I were an overweight middle aged man, I'd get fucking attention for it because that's who's supposed to have them.
So I had an appointment with a new GI doctor on Tuesday. I made this appointment months ago when I couldn't keep food down, of course. But he agreed that I should get a new endoscopy, because the last one was over 4 years ago, and I've had a lot happen in between that could make it worse. Since I'm on the maximum dose of medication for it, if there's any signs of damage in my esophagus, I might be able to get surgery to fix the hernia.
Fucking finally.
Day 41- Wearing Down
You know, it's ironic that I have this poster that I've got in the background. Because I can't eat enough to finish a loaf of bread before it goes bad, and I can only rarely drink coffee.
I've talked about my stomach issues a couple times during the last 5 years. I've had acid reflux, nausea, and a low appetite for years. But whenever I have an acute stress response, it gets worse. When Casey was diagnosed, my stomach bled. After she died, I lost a ton of weight, and had serious problems with acid reflux. I have problems finding a doctor who cares. It takes months to get an appointment with a GI doctor, and by then, I'm back to my baseline (which is still not okay). When my stomach bled, it took three months to get an endoscopy (the ER wouldn't do it because my blood pressure was fine), and by then all they found was a small hiatal hernia (where your stomach gets caught up around your esophagus). So since then, I keep getting doctors who say that my hernia isn't big enough to warrant my symptoms, and to stop eating spicy food. Which. Yes. But that's not the only thing wrong, and sometimes I can't even drink water without it coming back up. But you know, it's clearly not a big deal, because I'm "too young" and my hernia's "not bad enough." Fuck you. If I were an overweight middle aged man, I'd get fucking attention for it because that's who's supposed to have them.
So I had an appointment with a new GI doctor on Tuesday. I made this appointment months ago when I couldn't keep food down, of course. But he agreed that I should get a new endoscopy, because the last one was over 4 years ago, and I've had a lot happen in between that could make it worse. Since I'm on the maximum dose of medication for it, if there's any signs of damage in my esophagus, I might be able to get surgery to fix the hernia.
Fucking finally.