looking glass self

This week's theme/challenge for Project Soulpancake was to sincerely compliment a total stranger. The task reminded me of the looking glass self, a social psychological concept that I studied as part of my undergrad sociology minor. The term refers to people shaping themselves based on other people's perception, which leads the people to reinforce other people's perspectives on themselves. People shape themselves based on what other people perceive and confirm other people's opinion on themselves. It also leads to expectancy effect. We see ourselves through the eyes of other people, even to the extent of incorporating their views of us into our own self-concept.

 

Then I thought of the woman whose shoes I complimented in the elevator at work the other day. Did she pick those shoes to be noticed by others? Certainly those bright green satin peep-toes weren't worn for comfort. Is her self-concept, or at the very least her self-esteem, based wholly or in part on how others perceive her in those flashy shoes? I think so, but then again, I've known her for all of 1 minute of her life. Maybe I'm projecting my own psychology onto her.

Done