"Little Sally" Flagship of the Pink Cartel Pirates

 

 

(Remember that the following is purely for dramatic effect. None of it is real. Though it would be totally awesome to live in the 23rd Century Universe, right?)

 

While most of the rogues and pirates that haunted the outskirts of Earth-controlled space were adsorbed into the Navy mid-way into the

Othaen War, a few die-hards remained. The Pink Cartel is one of the more notorious pirate groups that prowl through space. They hold a

radical belief in a feminized version of Antebellum life as defined by the Cartel's leader, Little Sally (hence the pink). When the Pink

Cartel Pirates gained enough numbers, they commissioned a large (for a pirate operation, at least) commerce raider be built from an abandoned

naval frigate once used by Earth's navy. When it was completed, the ship was christened "Little Sally" after their very own leader,

-you guessed it- Little Sally, Pirate Queen of Vanity.

 

Little Sally's sub-light engine is the most prestene among pirate vessels, and the ship's FTL drive is a curious hybrid of the usual Handwavium-fueled Tachyon Bubble Drive and a Coalition of Planets-grade Warp Drive. How pirates managed to accomplish such an engineering feet where other, richly funded, Naval engineers could not is unknown, but what is known is that the hybrid FTL leaves the space around the point of entry and exit very unstable. How it manages to not rip apart the enire Time-Space Continuum is considered the Second Fluke of the Century. (The first is a topic you'd rather not explore.) The limbs on either side of Little Sally are literally giant clamps used to claw into cargo vessels and mining ships alike. The

Pink Cartel usually uses their flagship in strategic offenses that fits in with their cause, though it has been known to splurge away

from its pseudo-patriotic agenda to raid vessels that carry necessary supplies or valuables. The Vanity Queen herself is usually off

engaging in debauchery and other activities of questionable virtue. In fact, she has been in the habit of allowing her eight year old,

blind-and-deaf-from-birth daughter to captain the ship for days, sometimes weeks on end- a testament to her disrespect towards men,

seeing as she also has three adult sons (all of illegitimate origin) whom rarely see even a penny of the Pirate Queen's booty (although,

given her excessively obese size, they definitely see it). Strangely, though; her daughter, known among the stars as Josephine-

The Pink Heiress, seems to be able to speak and comprehend at a level above most children of her age (possibly most adults, too). How she

manages to interact with the rest of the crew on the bridge with her disabilities is a mystery. As her mother would go on to decay from

cardiovascular disease, the Heiress became known to speak of her origins. If Josephine- The Pink Heiress were a character in a popular

RTS game, her click-quotes would likely be as follows:

 

"I can hear you just fine."

"I saw that coming."

"Soon you will realize that it is I who is in control."

"I understand perfectly."

"Ah, yes; I can feel the Chronicler tumble in his sleep."

"I have the body of my mother and the sould of the Warp!"

"Their dreams are becoming nightmares."

"Just as planned!"

"The immaterial is calling. I can hear you, father."

"You would do well to not meddle in my affairs."

"I am the Warp- Reborn!"

 

Most believe Josephine is schizophrenic, but if you're into conspiracies you could say that her references to the Zyyan, an ancient race an Earthling of her age likely not know anything of, along with her claims that the Warp is her "father" makes her somehow related to the Great Evil that was banished into its own dimension of immaterial (the Warp) long ago. How the Evil could manifest itself in a girl is practically impossible, but so is using a hybrid FTL drive and Josephine was conceived during one of the ship's FTL jumps. But unless you're a Zyyan or a superstitious Tarsin, that idea is crazy. *Continually looks over shoulder*

Done