Monkey Interview #4.

 

Hey Monkey! How's it going?

 

Yeah, not bad, thanks. They've taken me on a business trip so I'm enjoying all the facilities; robe, swimming pool, jacuzzi, massage and the mini bar. I've got my little monkey trousers in the trouser press and twenty-seven bananas coming any minute now on the room service.

 

So who's paying for all this?

 

Well, they are. I'm a business guru these days - retail procurement, high-level sourcing, trends and hot picks. If they want my advice, they have to look after me. This monkey will go elsewhere like a rat up a drainpipe if they won't pay top dollar.

 

But surely the sum of your knowledge is swinging about on a car tyre, eating fruit and crapping in your hand and throwing it at the zoo-going public? No offence.

 

Some taken. That's all behind me now; these days I'm the keynote speaker at retail seminars, an angel investor and mercantile guiding light. Time is money, I'm thinking outside the box, shifting the paradigm, running ideas up the retail flagpole and seeing who salutes it.

 

So, if I ask your owners, they'll corroborate all this?

 

Ok, don't tell them, they'll go mad when they see the price of room service bananas and that I've eaten seven packs of mini-bar nuts at three pounds a packet, broken the curtain pole by swinging off it and I've crapped in the tiny kettle too. They're going to go mad aren't they?

 

Monkey, thank you very much.

Done