*READ ME* - A year in the making...
So.
One year on Flickr today... And what to show for it? And will anyone actually read what I write anyway? And do I care? (I don't know if I do or not.)
I uploaded a big bunch of shots to Flickr originally as another space online to show my work, believing that by prostituting my work and my name across photography cyberspace it would slowly but surely help to spread what I do around and maybe help me get more work, or at least be recognised more. Flickr was a small part of a grander plan...
And then I started to fall flat out of love with taking photos, particularly those for people and models who wished for nothing more than to create as much pain and stress as possible. Fashion and portraits are what I did really... I spent nearly three months of the last year without physically touching the camera, but then as my mentor, ex lecturer and friend Dave White said to me recently:
"As for the dry spell - fuck it. You are a serious photographer who uses the camera as a medium. That is, as a vehicle to carry your thoughts...
So, it's hardly surprising that you aren't sure yet, what you want to say about your new situation. You've barely had time to see it, let alone get to grips with what it means and how to translate it into pictures. You had 20 odd years (and let's face it, they were odd) to develop a vision of people, places and things around here. (The UK.)
I would be worried, if you e-mailed to say you were snapping away happily. That would make you the kind of lightweight git we always tried to persuade to give up the classes as quickly as possible. You know, the ones who thought that if they pointed their Leica at any glittery surface or grand landscape, the photo was bound to be interesting and that they had nothing to learn because they had found out long ago that asking themselves any awkward questions only made their bollocks ache.
Take your time. Keep fit. Eat well. Sleep after shagging. Read poetry. Look at the sea. Do not think about the camera. When the time is right, it will get down from the shelf, dust itself off and tap you on the shoulder."
And so it has come to be that Flickr has become more of a personal insight into me and my thoughts, the personal side of the commercial picture taker in making. I still itch physically to shoot people again, to find some model and sit her down and shoot her in a way that noone else would. To show you her eyes and make you wonder, to undress her and show you her soul naked not her body, to dress her again and make you wish for a backward step. The itch to shoot people gets stronger by the day, yet my desire to express myself in whichever bloody way I feel like at the time grows with more vigour still. I shoot more landscapes now than I ever did. I think more now than I have for some time and yet end up picking up the camera and putting it down more now knowing I won't do my thoughts justice.
I see Richard, Memetic and August's effortlessly beautiful way of photographing life and people with aching simplicity but more beauty than I'll ever manage and feel both downheartened and inspired. I see the self portrait work of Laurel, Melissa, Ally, Sarah and Charlie and feel both deep envy in not being able to record the models I shoot and will shoot with such delicacy, inspiration to try sometime soon, and all whilst trying to hide the fact I might just possibly think they're all very yummy! There are others in this category!
I see the emerging photographic talents and desire to want to say things with their pictures of Angela, and Nicole and smile to myself, safe in the knowledge that whilst there are people out there getting the bug for photography like these girls, the future is safe. I smile sometimes at their innocence and visual immaturity and realise that half the time I recognise the same past mistakes I made, and the other half being awoken that they're better than I am.
(And then I become conscious most of the people I link to are pretty women... *sigh* *blush* *sigh for being a predictable bloke*)
I see the work of Matt and Brent (keep smiling Brent!) and remember that I thank someone upstairs that when I moved to NZ it meant I'd meet people like these guys who just care for nothing else other than the picture itself. No gear nerds, no willy waving, no massaging of egos (much) just really good photos and more talent in their little finger than half of Flickr put together.
And after all that I learn one thing. Flickr is Facebook for photos. It's a feeding ground for photographic minds and inspiration. It's opened my mind and swayed my thoughts and introduced me to so many people I enjoy talking to and checking out their images. Yet I think it's done absolutely f**k all for my photography. I don't feel I've learned a single thing or progressed one step in this last year, just allowed myself to feel vaguely comfortable to wallow in my own photographic ramblings and self pity.
Perhaps this Flickr thing is a journey? Perhaps like many journeys it only becomes clear after ten thousand steps? Perhaps it's just a pointless time thief and I'm thinking about it too much? Hopefully though, the next year will bring changes...
*READ ME* - A year in the making...
So.
One year on Flickr today... And what to show for it? And will anyone actually read what I write anyway? And do I care? (I don't know if I do or not.)
I uploaded a big bunch of shots to Flickr originally as another space online to show my work, believing that by prostituting my work and my name across photography cyberspace it would slowly but surely help to spread what I do around and maybe help me get more work, or at least be recognised more. Flickr was a small part of a grander plan...
And then I started to fall flat out of love with taking photos, particularly those for people and models who wished for nothing more than to create as much pain and stress as possible. Fashion and portraits are what I did really... I spent nearly three months of the last year without physically touching the camera, but then as my mentor, ex lecturer and friend Dave White said to me recently:
"As for the dry spell - fuck it. You are a serious photographer who uses the camera as a medium. That is, as a vehicle to carry your thoughts...
So, it's hardly surprising that you aren't sure yet, what you want to say about your new situation. You've barely had time to see it, let alone get to grips with what it means and how to translate it into pictures. You had 20 odd years (and let's face it, they were odd) to develop a vision of people, places and things around here. (The UK.)
I would be worried, if you e-mailed to say you were snapping away happily. That would make you the kind of lightweight git we always tried to persuade to give up the classes as quickly as possible. You know, the ones who thought that if they pointed their Leica at any glittery surface or grand landscape, the photo was bound to be interesting and that they had nothing to learn because they had found out long ago that asking themselves any awkward questions only made their bollocks ache.
Take your time. Keep fit. Eat well. Sleep after shagging. Read poetry. Look at the sea. Do not think about the camera. When the time is right, it will get down from the shelf, dust itself off and tap you on the shoulder."
And so it has come to be that Flickr has become more of a personal insight into me and my thoughts, the personal side of the commercial picture taker in making. I still itch physically to shoot people again, to find some model and sit her down and shoot her in a way that noone else would. To show you her eyes and make you wonder, to undress her and show you her soul naked not her body, to dress her again and make you wish for a backward step. The itch to shoot people gets stronger by the day, yet my desire to express myself in whichever bloody way I feel like at the time grows with more vigour still. I shoot more landscapes now than I ever did. I think more now than I have for some time and yet end up picking up the camera and putting it down more now knowing I won't do my thoughts justice.
I see Richard, Memetic and August's effortlessly beautiful way of photographing life and people with aching simplicity but more beauty than I'll ever manage and feel both downheartened and inspired. I see the self portrait work of Laurel, Melissa, Ally, Sarah and Charlie and feel both deep envy in not being able to record the models I shoot and will shoot with such delicacy, inspiration to try sometime soon, and all whilst trying to hide the fact I might just possibly think they're all very yummy! There are others in this category!
I see the emerging photographic talents and desire to want to say things with their pictures of Angela, and Nicole and smile to myself, safe in the knowledge that whilst there are people out there getting the bug for photography like these girls, the future is safe. I smile sometimes at their innocence and visual immaturity and realise that half the time I recognise the same past mistakes I made, and the other half being awoken that they're better than I am.
(And then I become conscious most of the people I link to are pretty women... *sigh* *blush* *sigh for being a predictable bloke*)
I see the work of Matt and Brent (keep smiling Brent!) and remember that I thank someone upstairs that when I moved to NZ it meant I'd meet people like these guys who just care for nothing else other than the picture itself. No gear nerds, no willy waving, no massaging of egos (much) just really good photos and more talent in their little finger than half of Flickr put together.
And after all that I learn one thing. Flickr is Facebook for photos. It's a feeding ground for photographic minds and inspiration. It's opened my mind and swayed my thoughts and introduced me to so many people I enjoy talking to and checking out their images. Yet I think it's done absolutely f**k all for my photography. I don't feel I've learned a single thing or progressed one step in this last year, just allowed myself to feel vaguely comfortable to wallow in my own photographic ramblings and self pity.
Perhaps this Flickr thing is a journey? Perhaps like many journeys it only becomes clear after ten thousand steps? Perhaps it's just a pointless time thief and I'm thinking about it too much? Hopefully though, the next year will bring changes...