EMPOWERMENT+SCIENCE=RESILIENCE
"THE ISSUE OF POWER…"
When I work with the children I have to continuously explain to them that bullies cannot exist in the world if victims did not exist and victims cannot exist in the world if there were no bullies. One cannot exist without the other.
Bullies and victims have a symbiotic relationship and until adults accept that reality the continuing negative issue in homes, schools, social settings, workplaces and eventually into nursing homes will never change.
Using a pencil, ruler or stick I show the children that on one extreme is where the bully lives and on the exact opposite end is where the victim lives; they are only the ends of one pencil, ruler or stick. By placing the pencil, ruler or stick on my finger and balancing it I can show them how the pencil, ruler or stick becomes a see-saw. At one moment one is on the top and then the next moment they’re on the bottom.
To both the bully and the victim this is not a place they feel good in.
Asking the children where is the best place to be they all say in the middle. After a high 5 at that point we begin the process of identifying what being in the middle looks like.
I have seen countless teachers attempt to get children of all ages to act out being a bully and then ask them to act out what they should be doing instead and the children can usually only say after a long silence “be nice” or be kind or friendly but then when asked what that would look like in actions the children find it very hard to come up with any plausible answers.
Even asking a group of children to give you a selection of negative actions or words is very easy for the collective and again when asked for the positive actions or words the children struggle to find anything other than to “be nice”.
Children learn all these kinds of negative behaviours from the adult population surrounding them and take these negative social and emotional behaviours into their schools, relationships and onto their workplaces and old age.
Children are trained very early in the power struggles that surround their lives within their family homes and wider communities let alone the children’s shows that are 90% based on the power struggle between good or bad. Now it has got down to very young children spending up to 80% of their “play” time inside cyber worlds surrounded by the extremes of aggression and violence, goodies verses baddies all modelling bulling and victim characteristics to the enth degree of perfection.
Once the children have seen that there is another place to grow from and that they can step out of the power struggle of bullies and victims, goodies or baddies, winners or losers they are hungry to learn what this place of balance looks like and are eager to apply their new knowledge.
What I have learned, only very recently is this place of balance, between the extremes of power in this world is called the place of empowerment.
My job is then to focus on how to call on and encourage the inner capacities hidden within every human being that lie dormant until allowed to be free to step forward and up into a whole new level of human capacities and grow entire new forms of relationships all balanced on empowering each other.
No human being, especially a child should ever feel hopeless or disempowered.
Children’s brains only see black or white, right or wrong, goody or baddy and have to be trained and educated to see the huge possibilities that do exist between them. It is up to all adults to learn this and then help educate and train the children around them.
The only way children will ever know what being friendly looks like in action, the only way children will be able to leave behind their forefathers waring, angry and oppressive ways.
EMPOWERMENT+SCIENCE=RESILIENCE
"THE ISSUE OF POWER…"
When I work with the children I have to continuously explain to them that bullies cannot exist in the world if victims did not exist and victims cannot exist in the world if there were no bullies. One cannot exist without the other.
Bullies and victims have a symbiotic relationship and until adults accept that reality the continuing negative issue in homes, schools, social settings, workplaces and eventually into nursing homes will never change.
Using a pencil, ruler or stick I show the children that on one extreme is where the bully lives and on the exact opposite end is where the victim lives; they are only the ends of one pencil, ruler or stick. By placing the pencil, ruler or stick on my finger and balancing it I can show them how the pencil, ruler or stick becomes a see-saw. At one moment one is on the top and then the next moment they’re on the bottom.
To both the bully and the victim this is not a place they feel good in.
Asking the children where is the best place to be they all say in the middle. After a high 5 at that point we begin the process of identifying what being in the middle looks like.
I have seen countless teachers attempt to get children of all ages to act out being a bully and then ask them to act out what they should be doing instead and the children can usually only say after a long silence “be nice” or be kind or friendly but then when asked what that would look like in actions the children find it very hard to come up with any plausible answers.
Even asking a group of children to give you a selection of negative actions or words is very easy for the collective and again when asked for the positive actions or words the children struggle to find anything other than to “be nice”.
Children learn all these kinds of negative behaviours from the adult population surrounding them and take these negative social and emotional behaviours into their schools, relationships and onto their workplaces and old age.
Children are trained very early in the power struggles that surround their lives within their family homes and wider communities let alone the children’s shows that are 90% based on the power struggle between good or bad. Now it has got down to very young children spending up to 80% of their “play” time inside cyber worlds surrounded by the extremes of aggression and violence, goodies verses baddies all modelling bulling and victim characteristics to the enth degree of perfection.
Once the children have seen that there is another place to grow from and that they can step out of the power struggle of bullies and victims, goodies or baddies, winners or losers they are hungry to learn what this place of balance looks like and are eager to apply their new knowledge.
What I have learned, only very recently is this place of balance, between the extremes of power in this world is called the place of empowerment.
My job is then to focus on how to call on and encourage the inner capacities hidden within every human being that lie dormant until allowed to be free to step forward and up into a whole new level of human capacities and grow entire new forms of relationships all balanced on empowering each other.
No human being, especially a child should ever feel hopeless or disempowered.
Children’s brains only see black or white, right or wrong, goody or baddy and have to be trained and educated to see the huge possibilities that do exist between them. It is up to all adults to learn this and then help educate and train the children around them.
The only way children will ever know what being friendly looks like in action, the only way children will be able to leave behind their forefathers waring, angry and oppressive ways.