to self-destruct

• 47/52 •

• decay •

 

‘to self-destruct'

 

sometimes, in order to grow, you need to destroy the part of yourself that refuses to change.

 

I was very stuck in my ways with self-portraiture. I felt frustrated, like this project wasn't giving me what I needed, like giving it up and just dropping self-portraiture for a while. Again. Like I did in 2016 and like I did in 2017. I felt more like breaking than like bending and letting the muse (whatever that is) do its thing. And that's not an easy place to be.

 

I had ideas, but no will to execute them. I had awesome concepts, but also an internalized fear that somewhere, sometime, someone might have done them before and therefore, all their worth was lost. I was fighting with my own aesthetic, with my path and the recognition that I was getting (and sometimes not getting, which pissed me off too).

 

And then, at some point, something clicked. "What if I just did this for fun?" What if I started taking myself less seriously? *What if I just didn't care?* And just like that, I unblocked. I tore apart the Lu that was waiting for this project to be a huge thing, and the Lu that thought that art had to be serious. And out came the Lu who just enjoys taking really outrageous photos that will piss off the grown ups.

 

#52sisterhood

 

@joanacatcardoso

@niacarvalho

@martaracabral

@madalenatavares

@bringmewildflowers

 

Done