to find it within

• 25/52 •

• superhero •

 

I'm back to posting on time, y'all!

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I spent the week thinking about this theme in very plain terms. Who are my heroes? Who are the people I admire? Who should I represent? And at some point, the thought that I should consider this topic in a more metaphorical sense hit me like a train full of stupid. Or of inspiration. Whichever you prefer.

 

One of the reasons I haven't been photographing like I used to eight or ten years ago has to do with my body and the way it's changed since then. You see, I grew up extremely thin. And that thinness lend itself perfectly to a certain kind of theme - the nymphette, the childish and the fairy-like. The fantasy of a woman who is tall and slender, the curves shallow and almost non existent, a prepubescent body with the face of an angel. Boobs and just the hint of a hip.

 

But I grew, y'all. And I discovered that with having emotional stability, it wasn't just happiness and calm that came — it was appetite. And a love for food I hadn't really fostered until then. And with that love for food came a body that is within normal parameters — not the slender, paper thin frame I had when I was depressed, not overweight by a long mile, but regular sized. Common. With a roll here and there, with thighs and hips, but arms that could still pass for a fifteen year old.

 

I love my body the way it is now. It has a softness I never knew before, and I feel prettier this way. But some people still have the gall to come to me and whisper meanly in my ear 'you're fat, you know?'. And not in a 'you go girl, you feel good like this', but in a 'you should be ashamed of yourself' kind of way. And while I'm normally confident, all it takes is the right person saying it to you, for you to question everything. For you to avoid the mirrors and wear the long dresses that hide everything. For you to crumble.

 

I'm still here. I'm still loving myself. But that was the superhero move of the week. With a lot of love and support from a lot of people (and one in particular, my darling) I'm back to feeling okay. But that was the struggle. And the people who deal with this kind of pressure every day, who have bodies that are less conventional than mine, who infuse me with the confidence I need to love myself and to love every kind of body I see around — they're my superheroes.

 

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[ somos seis, amigas e fotógrafas, a fazer um '52 semanas' em conjunto. publicaremos semanalmente nas nossas redes sociais, e podem seguir-nos através da hashtag #52sisterhood. caso se queiram juntar a nós, podem usar a hashtag #52sisterhoodchallenge! contamos convosco desse lado, nesta aventura! vamos lá!

 

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there’s six of us, friends and photographers, doing a '52 weeks’ project together. we’ll publish every week, and you can keep up with us through the hashtag #52sisterhood. If you’d like to join us, you can use the #52sisterhoodchallenge! we’re counting on you to join us on this journey! come along! ]

Done