光影匠人
Tossing the Coin
The photo is taken at Central Library, University of Otago.
A few days ago, I chose to toss a coin. Strangely, four tosses all landed on the side representing "no." At that moment, loyalty triumphed over everything, but more libido triumphed over temporary loyalty a few days later. I chose to "go the old way" and tossed the coin again. The poor $2 NZ coin—I tossed it five times, even switching the representation of heads and tails, but all five times landed on "no." My goodness! I have learned about binomial distribution. Out of curiosity, I calculated the probability of these nine outcomes: 0.5^9 = 0.001953125. A 0.19% chance? Ha! So, I definitely shouldn’t do that? Clearly, my original purpose was to use this loyalty. When I tossed heads, I could gain some consolation. Who would have thought EDEN wouldn’t give me a single chance?
Returning to today, a conversation with a missionary in February suddenly came to mind. I told him I believe in my own, subjectively idealistic "god." I don’t believe in the existence of an objective God. He retorted that in terms of willpower, believers and non-believers are equally devout.
I suddenly understood—the heads and tails of the coin don’t matter, because believing heads are heads and tails are tails, their willpower is the same. This willpower is determined the moment the coin is tossed. What it brings me is this willpower, not the "superstitious" result.
Suddenly enlightened, I decided to toss the coin once more, determining heads and tails. Again, I got tails.
A pure, untainted smile filled my face, not because of the result of 0.5^10 = 0.0009765625, but because I saw the resilient continuation of this willpower, its vitality. It was so vibrant that it reversed my feelings from the past nine results. The tenth coin toss reminded me of Dostoevsky’s sunset, transforming old sorrows into serene and moving joy due to life’s great mysteries...
Will I toss the eleventh coin? Yes, because happiness is never the final destination; it’s more like the scenery along the way. Therefore, I cannot stop, wasting my life. Perhaps, I have already tossed this eleventh coin, over and over, every minute, every second.
Tossing the Coin
The photo is taken at Central Library, University of Otago.
A few days ago, I chose to toss a coin. Strangely, four tosses all landed on the side representing "no." At that moment, loyalty triumphed over everything, but more libido triumphed over temporary loyalty a few days later. I chose to "go the old way" and tossed the coin again. The poor $2 NZ coin—I tossed it five times, even switching the representation of heads and tails, but all five times landed on "no." My goodness! I have learned about binomial distribution. Out of curiosity, I calculated the probability of these nine outcomes: 0.5^9 = 0.001953125. A 0.19% chance? Ha! So, I definitely shouldn’t do that? Clearly, my original purpose was to use this loyalty. When I tossed heads, I could gain some consolation. Who would have thought EDEN wouldn’t give me a single chance?
Returning to today, a conversation with a missionary in February suddenly came to mind. I told him I believe in my own, subjectively idealistic "god." I don’t believe in the existence of an objective God. He retorted that in terms of willpower, believers and non-believers are equally devout.
I suddenly understood—the heads and tails of the coin don’t matter, because believing heads are heads and tails are tails, their willpower is the same. This willpower is determined the moment the coin is tossed. What it brings me is this willpower, not the "superstitious" result.
Suddenly enlightened, I decided to toss the coin once more, determining heads and tails. Again, I got tails.
A pure, untainted smile filled my face, not because of the result of 0.5^10 = 0.0009765625, but because I saw the resilient continuation of this willpower, its vitality. It was so vibrant that it reversed my feelings from the past nine results. The tenth coin toss reminded me of Dostoevsky’s sunset, transforming old sorrows into serene and moving joy due to life’s great mysteries...
Will I toss the eleventh coin? Yes, because happiness is never the final destination; it’s more like the scenery along the way. Therefore, I cannot stop, wasting my life. Perhaps, I have already tossed this eleventh coin, over and over, every minute, every second.