candles of years passed

but I think the most emotion I feel on my birthday is at the end of the night when after I've opened sweet gifts and cleaned the plate the eaten cake was on, take my makeup off and change into sweats and a sweatshirt and just start crying about that this is how it is. another year. another beautiful year gone, slipped through my fingers. and all I can do is watch myself get older. and all I can do is live with the fact that we just spent a whole lot of money on thoughtless people. and all I can do is look at the same candles we use on my cake every year since I was about 7. and all I can do is live with the fact that I didn't get to see my best friend in the world today. all I can do is sit here and cry. but this is how it is every single year.

 

if 2 years ago seemed like yesterday, I can only hope these next 2 years will go by as slow as possible. honestly, it's just how I feel.

Done