Jun "D" Phan
Confession
I ,a shy and quiet boy since young, was a target of the bullied throughout my 8 years of childhood. The memories of being bullied continuously have had a little or more effect on my confidence and activeness. I shut myself off from the society, claimed myself a weak person and brought myself with a gloomy, tired and scary look.
I’ve never believed in myself…
I came to photography when my dad lent me his camera when I was 6. From the first clicks, I already felt "this is where I belong". Photography helps me recreating the world seen through my eyes and felt by my soul, helps me remembering faces, smiles, memories of a passing time. And it even reminds of the things which are supposed to be forgotten.
I chose dark art because dark art is a fine illustration of the world I am seeing - a world of melancholy and sadness. Through dark art, I can dig deep into the darkest place of a human, right there, people are living in the own nature: weak, crazy and also vulnerable. Being an introvert person, dark art is also a way of relieving the soul, showing people who I am, what I am and what I’m capable of - something that I rarely share with anybody. As a result, I became more open with everyone, gave more laughs and talked more to the people around me. "You look way more better then?" - my friends said in satisfaction.
I never stop doubting myself ...
I’ve been reeling from my "what should I do" and "I’m not good enough" thinkings, which makes me deviate from my original path. Always wish to be like other photographer pals: big relationships, big interacts and having a support team while I am alone all the time,… I gradually forget that I’ve lost myself, forgotten that my path was different from all of them. I am an independent existence, I exist uniquely and I should’ve not been anyone’s copy. It’s been a difficult time right now, I was once again separated myself from everyone, even the ones I love so much. Always bringing suspense and fear of any situations. And even when writing these words, those emotions are making my hands shake and my heart beats so fast.
I know that there aren’t any obstacles that cannot be overcome if I dare to face, and I know that nothing can stop me if I truly believe that I can do it in my heart. However, "How?", "How can I really believe in myself?”, "How can I become more confidence?", "How can I make this? "How can I do that ...?", “How…?”, “How…?” and "How ...?". I’ve spent a great deal of time resting, thinking and rearranging things that were still unfinished. Those fears are still here, those thoughts are still here, and the answer I still cannot find out but at least this time I will try, something at least makes me feel better. And I hope someday I can find my own answer and be happy with it.
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Jun
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More:
Confession
I ,a shy and quiet boy since young, was a target of the bullied throughout my 8 years of childhood. The memories of being bullied continuously have had a little or more effect on my confidence and activeness. I shut myself off from the society, claimed myself a weak person and brought myself with a gloomy, tired and scary look.
I’ve never believed in myself…
I came to photography when my dad lent me his camera when I was 6. From the first clicks, I already felt "this is where I belong". Photography helps me recreating the world seen through my eyes and felt by my soul, helps me remembering faces, smiles, memories of a passing time. And it even reminds of the things which are supposed to be forgotten.
I chose dark art because dark art is a fine illustration of the world I am seeing - a world of melancholy and sadness. Through dark art, I can dig deep into the darkest place of a human, right there, people are living in the own nature: weak, crazy and also vulnerable. Being an introvert person, dark art is also a way of relieving the soul, showing people who I am, what I am and what I’m capable of - something that I rarely share with anybody. As a result, I became more open with everyone, gave more laughs and talked more to the people around me. "You look way more better then?" - my friends said in satisfaction.
I never stop doubting myself ...
I’ve been reeling from my "what should I do" and "I’m not good enough" thinkings, which makes me deviate from my original path. Always wish to be like other photographer pals: big relationships, big interacts and having a support team while I am alone all the time,… I gradually forget that I’ve lost myself, forgotten that my path was different from all of them. I am an independent existence, I exist uniquely and I should’ve not been anyone’s copy. It’s been a difficult time right now, I was once again separated myself from everyone, even the ones I love so much. Always bringing suspense and fear of any situations. And even when writing these words, those emotions are making my hands shake and my heart beats so fast.
I know that there aren’t any obstacles that cannot be overcome if I dare to face, and I know that nothing can stop me if I truly believe that I can do it in my heart. However, "How?", "How can I really believe in myself?”, "How can I become more confidence?", "How can I make this? "How can I do that ...?", “How…?”, “How…?” and "How ...?". I’ve spent a great deal of time resting, thinking and rearranging things that were still unfinished. Those fears are still here, those thoughts are still here, and the answer I still cannot find out but at least this time I will try, something at least makes me feel better. And I hope someday I can find my own answer and be happy with it.
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Jun
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More: