Ongoing Self-Portraits

When people first create self-portraits, which of the many aspects of their identities do they depict first? Which ones do they express later on as they continue to create more? What aspects of themselves do they often portray and which ones do they neglect? These questions can help us understand their concept of themselves, including what they value about their personalities, as well as what they might find problematic.

 

When photographers first create and share a self-portrait, they often feel somewhat apprehensive. They might worry about appearing narcissistic, feel uncomfortably self-conscious about their appearance, or fear negative feedback. If they receive generally positive reactions from others, or if they aren’t particularly concerned about criticism, they tend to become more creative, spontaneous, and even carefree about their self-portraits, which might reflect increasing self-acceptance and confidence. While predominant themes about their identity appear continuously or recurrently in their work, they start to experiment with revealing different and perhaps more vulnerable aspects of their psyche. Literally and figuratively, they show different angles on themselves. They take a closer look at what they like and dislike about their personality and lives. In one self-portrait they might reveal a particular side to their personality, while in later one they depict something quite the opposite, as if recognizing their internal conflicts and polarities. Patterns surface that point to underlying and perhaps unconscious dimensions of personal identity that are not clearly evident in any one photo.

 

The collection of self-portraits eventually becomes a kaleidoscope of beliefs, emotions, and behaviors that reveal a more complete, multifaceted design of who the photographer is. The more people do self-portraits, the more they might think, "How much should I and am I revealing about myself?" As the person grapples with this question and continues doing this type of work, the self-reflection process and the camera itself might become more apparent to viewers.

 

For photographers who create self-portraits on a regular basis, like those who participate in such online groups as Flickr’s 365, the process becomes a day-to-day visual journal that identifies changes in one’s moods, thoughts, and activities. It’s a way to “take one’s temperature” on a daily basis. It enhances one’s sense of self continuity and cohesion. Some people say that it gives them a chance to decide who they want to be on a particular day, even if they cannot express that directly in their actual life. When asked about their motivations to create and post online a self-portrait everyday for a year, people often remark that it’s a “challenge” – a challenge of asking oneself, everyday, “How am I feeling today? Who am I today? How will others react to me today?” It’s an ongoing quest in understanding what about oneself changes, as well as what stays the same – because some things about us never change.

 

In some respects self-portraits become easier to do the more you do them. But in other respects they might become harder. Photographers block and run out of ideas. Or they may get stuck on particular types of self-portraits. Sometimes it’s because they’ve run into their own psychological dead ends. They are, literally and figuratively, stuck on that self-perception, perhaps due to the fact that they value it, need it, or are conflicted about it. And sometimes it’s because their audience applauds and therefore reinforces them for producing certain types of self-portraits, which prevents them, consciously or unconsciously, from expressing other things about themselves.

 

It helps to think of these dead ends as part of the self-portrait process. Often, below the surface of conscious awareness, in what psychologists call “subconscious incubation.” Something about oneself is forming and waiting to break through. You might discover it by paying attention to what you’re thinking and feeling, regardless of the feedback you receive from others. You might detect it in some visual or psychological motif that unexpectedly appears in your self-portrait. Follow that motif to see where it takes you.

 

For some people, creating and sharing many self-portraits online might become a substitute for living in the “real” world. When people feel disconnected from others or from themselves, they might try to create more satisfying relationships and a more rewarding identity in cyberspace. Ideally, one learns to balance and integrate the offline and online self. Sharing self-portraits with friends and relatives, both online and offline, helps serve that goal.

 

When pursuing the self-reflective process of creating self-portraits, we’re not always sure where we’re headed. We’re not sure what we’re becoming in our photos. It can be a slow, complicated process with unexpected twists and turns. In that sense, it’s a lot like life.

 

 

** This image and essay are part of a book on Photographic Psychology that I’m creating within Flickr. This particular essay on "Varieties of Self-Portrait Experiences" is a long one, so I’m going to break it up into sections.

 

If anyone has self-portraits that illustrate the ideas in this essay, please feel free to post and discuss them.

 

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Photographic Psychology

 

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