all things considered, Gromit says, I'd rather live in Hackensack
This is Gromit, somewhere on I-80 between NJ and Utah. I did most of the driving, but a few times found myself in the passenger seat. Gromit was impeccably behaved on the road trip, and spent about half his day looking over the seat like this, watching where we were going. He's just too damned cute sometimes!
My closest friends got the email updates on almost a nightly basis. I have copied and pasted those messages, in their entirety, below. Yes, we hate Nebraska so much we'd rather live in the "dirty" part of Hackensack, which we also drove through.
of Brake Retarders and roadkill... August 25
Greetings from the hellhole known as West Middlesex, Pennsylvania. Pennsyltucky indeed.
The trip has had a few weird bumps, including no hot water where we stayed last night, roadkill somewhere in the Wilds of Pennsylvania (that's what the sign read) which resembled a monkey of some sort (maybe it was el chupacabra or some sort of marsupial, we're really not sure what it was), and my Aunt had emergency surgery this morning so I didn't get to see her at all. But the dogs are doing well and having fun tearing around at night in new places, the cat is the most pleasant she's ever been thanks to the sedatives (I might put her on them permanently) and gas has been cheap, under $3.50 a gallon everywhere I've stopped. Tomorrow it's off to Iowa to stay with Patrick's dad, which I am looking forward to. The driving isn't as bad as I thought, either, according to my GPS the mileage is a lot less than I thought it would be.
There are signs out here that say BRAKE RETARDER USE PROHIBITED which scared me because I wasn't sure if I had them or not.
According to Google, I do not.
Ring of Fire, errant Camels, and Hackensack NJ August 27
Hi all. Just two more days of driving until I'm in my new place in Oregon! We spent last night with Patrick's dad, Moe, and step mom, Videlle. Wallace crapped on the basement floor, otherwise the evening was very nice!
This morning while picking up breakfast sandwiches at McDonald's we pulled up to the first window to pay and Gromit was in the backseat, standing up, looking out my window, and the woman at the window yells, "What the hell is THAT!" and I look and it's just Gromit, so I say, "Oh, that's my dog," and she yells, "I nearly pissed my pants! He scared the shit out of me! Look at him! That's some freaky shit!" and proceeds to yell expletives until I finally waved and smiled and drove on to the next window. I suppose if you're 40 and working at McDonald's in Coralville, IA, you aren't afraid to lose your job for swearing in front of customers. We should have said he was a baby gorilla we were delivering to the Omaha Zoo.
After hours, and hours, and hours of Nebraska, Frank and I have declared it a desolate piece of crap and we'd rather live in Hackensack.
However, somewhere on Route 80, 200 miles ago, I was yelling, "Holy shit! It's a CAMEL!" and Frank didn't see the camel because he was too busy looking at the GIRAFFE sticking its head out of the barn. People are weird here in Nebraska.
But that's not my favorite part of Nebraska yet.
Listening to their local NPR affiliate today we heard the best bit of news, ever: The state fair has begun and already a ride has been shut down. The Ring of Fire ride was electrocuting riders all this past weekend before it was closed to the public. The fact that the ride is named Ring of Fire had Frank and I crying.
We STILL aren't out of Nebraska, we have another 100 miles or so before we hit Wyoming. Tomorrow we pass through Wyoming (please tell me it's nicer than Nebraska, somebody), and then through part of Utah, and into Idaho.
I hope everyone is well! I am off to the local Chinese Buffet 200 feet across the parking lot for my dose of Norwalk virus and local color.
lucky cat poo, monkey pox, and my last update from the road August 28
First of all, we survived the Chinese food in Sidney without incident. We also finally made it out of Nebraska, arguably the worst state in the nation to drive through. I don't ever want to go to Nebraska again. Ever. Wyoming was much lovelier, particularly as we drove further west.
We were making excellent time and even considering driving further today than planned. I got some gas somewhere in central Wyoming, and figured it would take us most of the way to Idaho. We had found a Sonic (finally!) on our route, and had just 35 miles to go before we could have corn dogs and limeades for lunch.
As we were leaving the parking lot I heard a horrible noise, and I thought Wallace puked. So I laughed, and said, "we'll rescue him at Sonic," and pulled back onto 80. Within seconds we knew it was the wrong decision and had to put the windows down. It was the worst puke we'd ever smelled. Thankfully, just a mile ahead, was a rest stop.
We pulled in so I could tend to barf-boy in the backseat. Frank took Gromit and Wallace for a walk, and I determined it hadn't been Wallace at all, it had to be my disgusting drugged-out cat.
I took her carrier to a picnic table, let her out, and sure enough, there in the kennel, was poo. So I scooped her up and threw her in the car. Do I add here that I got cat crap on my hand while doing so? Life is truly awesome sometimes. So I clean my hands, clean the cat carrier, and start loading up the car again when I notice...
my rear passenger tire is flat.
It had to have gone flat between the gas station and the rest stop, and miraculously the cat poo got us off the road before it totally blew out or trashed my rim. It could have even gone flat while I was dealing with the carrier, but the point is that I had a flat tire. Two dogs. A cat. A mound full of prairie dogs watching me. Prarie dogs who just want to bite you and give you rabies and monkey pox, despite their cute little faces and big black glossy eyes. I was not amused.
I had to tie the dogs to a lamp post, unload the trunk (which was no easy feat), change the tire, repack the old tire and the junk and the dogs, and get to a tire shop.Thank you, Garmin GPS, for finding me a tire shop just 35 miles up 80 (in the right direction even!) that had my size in stock! I was so frustrated repacking the trunk that I left a tool kit of mine on the picnic table at the rest stop, for the next person. Hell with it.
50 mph to the tire place.
Dogs running around the car loose while the two back tires were replaced.
My personal belongings piled up on the floor of a garage.
$267.01 later I at least had two new tires and we still managed to have Sonic for lunch.
As much as I loved Wyoming, that extra 3 hours killed the magic! Crossing into Utah was beautiful, and after today I have been on the highest points of Route 80 east and west of the Mississippi.
I am in Burley, Idaho right now, watching a rerun of Barack's speech tonight, which we couldn't hear because we lost any radio coverage, aside from very offensive Christian radio, Christian rock, and Christian talk stations somewhere 50 miles ago.
Yes, I am looking forward to Portland, and no the driving hasn't been awful. At least we've had our humor about us! Thank you all for the messages. I will be in touch soon, just not tomorrow.
all things considered, Gromit says, I'd rather live in Hackensack
This is Gromit, somewhere on I-80 between NJ and Utah. I did most of the driving, but a few times found myself in the passenger seat. Gromit was impeccably behaved on the road trip, and spent about half his day looking over the seat like this, watching where we were going. He's just too damned cute sometimes!
My closest friends got the email updates on almost a nightly basis. I have copied and pasted those messages, in their entirety, below. Yes, we hate Nebraska so much we'd rather live in the "dirty" part of Hackensack, which we also drove through.
of Brake Retarders and roadkill... August 25
Greetings from the hellhole known as West Middlesex, Pennsylvania. Pennsyltucky indeed.
The trip has had a few weird bumps, including no hot water where we stayed last night, roadkill somewhere in the Wilds of Pennsylvania (that's what the sign read) which resembled a monkey of some sort (maybe it was el chupacabra or some sort of marsupial, we're really not sure what it was), and my Aunt had emergency surgery this morning so I didn't get to see her at all. But the dogs are doing well and having fun tearing around at night in new places, the cat is the most pleasant she's ever been thanks to the sedatives (I might put her on them permanently) and gas has been cheap, under $3.50 a gallon everywhere I've stopped. Tomorrow it's off to Iowa to stay with Patrick's dad, which I am looking forward to. The driving isn't as bad as I thought, either, according to my GPS the mileage is a lot less than I thought it would be.
There are signs out here that say BRAKE RETARDER USE PROHIBITED which scared me because I wasn't sure if I had them or not.
According to Google, I do not.
Ring of Fire, errant Camels, and Hackensack NJ August 27
Hi all. Just two more days of driving until I'm in my new place in Oregon! We spent last night with Patrick's dad, Moe, and step mom, Videlle. Wallace crapped on the basement floor, otherwise the evening was very nice!
This morning while picking up breakfast sandwiches at McDonald's we pulled up to the first window to pay and Gromit was in the backseat, standing up, looking out my window, and the woman at the window yells, "What the hell is THAT!" and I look and it's just Gromit, so I say, "Oh, that's my dog," and she yells, "I nearly pissed my pants! He scared the shit out of me! Look at him! That's some freaky shit!" and proceeds to yell expletives until I finally waved and smiled and drove on to the next window. I suppose if you're 40 and working at McDonald's in Coralville, IA, you aren't afraid to lose your job for swearing in front of customers. We should have said he was a baby gorilla we were delivering to the Omaha Zoo.
After hours, and hours, and hours of Nebraska, Frank and I have declared it a desolate piece of crap and we'd rather live in Hackensack.
However, somewhere on Route 80, 200 miles ago, I was yelling, "Holy shit! It's a CAMEL!" and Frank didn't see the camel because he was too busy looking at the GIRAFFE sticking its head out of the barn. People are weird here in Nebraska.
But that's not my favorite part of Nebraska yet.
Listening to their local NPR affiliate today we heard the best bit of news, ever: The state fair has begun and already a ride has been shut down. The Ring of Fire ride was electrocuting riders all this past weekend before it was closed to the public. The fact that the ride is named Ring of Fire had Frank and I crying.
We STILL aren't out of Nebraska, we have another 100 miles or so before we hit Wyoming. Tomorrow we pass through Wyoming (please tell me it's nicer than Nebraska, somebody), and then through part of Utah, and into Idaho.
I hope everyone is well! I am off to the local Chinese Buffet 200 feet across the parking lot for my dose of Norwalk virus and local color.
lucky cat poo, monkey pox, and my last update from the road August 28
First of all, we survived the Chinese food in Sidney without incident. We also finally made it out of Nebraska, arguably the worst state in the nation to drive through. I don't ever want to go to Nebraska again. Ever. Wyoming was much lovelier, particularly as we drove further west.
We were making excellent time and even considering driving further today than planned. I got some gas somewhere in central Wyoming, and figured it would take us most of the way to Idaho. We had found a Sonic (finally!) on our route, and had just 35 miles to go before we could have corn dogs and limeades for lunch.
As we were leaving the parking lot I heard a horrible noise, and I thought Wallace puked. So I laughed, and said, "we'll rescue him at Sonic," and pulled back onto 80. Within seconds we knew it was the wrong decision and had to put the windows down. It was the worst puke we'd ever smelled. Thankfully, just a mile ahead, was a rest stop.
We pulled in so I could tend to barf-boy in the backseat. Frank took Gromit and Wallace for a walk, and I determined it hadn't been Wallace at all, it had to be my disgusting drugged-out cat.
I took her carrier to a picnic table, let her out, and sure enough, there in the kennel, was poo. So I scooped her up and threw her in the car. Do I add here that I got cat crap on my hand while doing so? Life is truly awesome sometimes. So I clean my hands, clean the cat carrier, and start loading up the car again when I notice...
my rear passenger tire is flat.
It had to have gone flat between the gas station and the rest stop, and miraculously the cat poo got us off the road before it totally blew out or trashed my rim. It could have even gone flat while I was dealing with the carrier, but the point is that I had a flat tire. Two dogs. A cat. A mound full of prairie dogs watching me. Prarie dogs who just want to bite you and give you rabies and monkey pox, despite their cute little faces and big black glossy eyes. I was not amused.
I had to tie the dogs to a lamp post, unload the trunk (which was no easy feat), change the tire, repack the old tire and the junk and the dogs, and get to a tire shop.Thank you, Garmin GPS, for finding me a tire shop just 35 miles up 80 (in the right direction even!) that had my size in stock! I was so frustrated repacking the trunk that I left a tool kit of mine on the picnic table at the rest stop, for the next person. Hell with it.
50 mph to the tire place.
Dogs running around the car loose while the two back tires were replaced.
My personal belongings piled up on the floor of a garage.
$267.01 later I at least had two new tires and we still managed to have Sonic for lunch.
As much as I loved Wyoming, that extra 3 hours killed the magic! Crossing into Utah was beautiful, and after today I have been on the highest points of Route 80 east and west of the Mississippi.
I am in Burley, Idaho right now, watching a rerun of Barack's speech tonight, which we couldn't hear because we lost any radio coverage, aside from very offensive Christian radio, Christian rock, and Christian talk stations somewhere 50 miles ago.
Yes, I am looking forward to Portland, and no the driving hasn't been awful. At least we've had our humor about us! Thank you all for the messages. I will be in touch soon, just not tomorrow.