creative_jen
Accept
365 {91}
{two takes::east/west}
Let's see if I can remember this right - I'm part Irish, American, Spanish, German, Chinese, Filipino. And that's just my bloodline, who knows about past lives! Feels like a lot of layers there. I was born (and grew up mostly) in the Philippines, although I have traveled abroad and lived there for some years when I was much younger; once in San Francisco with my hippie Aunt; another time in Paris when mom decided to leave the Philippines to make nursing a broken heart easier. To bring forth 'change' by wanting 'a new life', far from all the painful reminders, meant flying away to France. nly to fall madly in love again not so long after the heart break. and there was also a time I lived in Anaheim where I went to a school called El Rancho. But it was always back here in Manila where I would land - a country so highly influenced by the west. Highly.
We speak, act, and think like our western influences. We were under the colony of Spain for over 300 years. Then the Americans came. And I guess they were more "popular" since they supposedly freed us from Spain. Supposedly. So, basically, as a country and as a people we were constantly struggling for our independence and identity. Our old culture and traditions are very much like our brothers and sisters in South East Asia - Malaysia, Indonesia, etc... but, you don't see much of that anymore. Only very little is preserved. For many of us, English is our first language.
I've had a lot of "finding myself' to do. It's nothing unusual, I know. It comes when you are trying to figure out who you are... when you're still a young mind relating to the world, trying to belong. But, because of the having to move around a lot and because when you ask yourself "who am I?" and part of that is somehow connected to one's nationality / culture (roots), it was a bit, hmmm, confusing? I felt I wanted to live in the U.S. I felt absolutely alienated here in my country, I hated it. But I fell in love and got married to a man who's first language was Tagalog and more 'Filipino' than any of my friends and family. I suppose it is through this relationship with him that I have learned to experience a deeper connection with my homeland; I have learned to find peace with all the struggling of "where do I belong?" and accept the beauty of this part of me; the Filipina. The mix.
You want to know the truth behind this image? It's not that deep really. It can be, sure. But it's not. I look and I see a plump self and I am blaming it all on PMS. Yup. Damn you PMS for all the bloating and craving and the uggh-ness and the thriller mood swings. But, I accept. I accept you. And I accept myself this way. :-)
Accept
365 {91}
{two takes::east/west}
Let's see if I can remember this right - I'm part Irish, American, Spanish, German, Chinese, Filipino. And that's just my bloodline, who knows about past lives! Feels like a lot of layers there. I was born (and grew up mostly) in the Philippines, although I have traveled abroad and lived there for some years when I was much younger; once in San Francisco with my hippie Aunt; another time in Paris when mom decided to leave the Philippines to make nursing a broken heart easier. To bring forth 'change' by wanting 'a new life', far from all the painful reminders, meant flying away to France. nly to fall madly in love again not so long after the heart break. and there was also a time I lived in Anaheim where I went to a school called El Rancho. But it was always back here in Manila where I would land - a country so highly influenced by the west. Highly.
We speak, act, and think like our western influences. We were under the colony of Spain for over 300 years. Then the Americans came. And I guess they were more "popular" since they supposedly freed us from Spain. Supposedly. So, basically, as a country and as a people we were constantly struggling for our independence and identity. Our old culture and traditions are very much like our brothers and sisters in South East Asia - Malaysia, Indonesia, etc... but, you don't see much of that anymore. Only very little is preserved. For many of us, English is our first language.
I've had a lot of "finding myself' to do. It's nothing unusual, I know. It comes when you are trying to figure out who you are... when you're still a young mind relating to the world, trying to belong. But, because of the having to move around a lot and because when you ask yourself "who am I?" and part of that is somehow connected to one's nationality / culture (roots), it was a bit, hmmm, confusing? I felt I wanted to live in the U.S. I felt absolutely alienated here in my country, I hated it. But I fell in love and got married to a man who's first language was Tagalog and more 'Filipino' than any of my friends and family. I suppose it is through this relationship with him that I have learned to experience a deeper connection with my homeland; I have learned to find peace with all the struggling of "where do I belong?" and accept the beauty of this part of me; the Filipina. The mix.
You want to know the truth behind this image? It's not that deep really. It can be, sure. But it's not. I look and I see a plump self and I am blaming it all on PMS. Yup. Damn you PMS for all the bloating and craving and the uggh-ness and the thriller mood swings. But, I accept. I accept you. And I accept myself this way. :-)