Home From the Hunt
Men in hunter-gatherer societies fulfilled their manly role by bringing back meat from the hunt. Today I got a taste of the pride my ancestors experienced after a successful hunt - by bringing back a package of toilet paper to end the tissue drought. I became, for a brief time, The Toilet Paper King.
My son looked out the window and saw a woman walking by with a package of toilet paper in her arms. We live in a rather safe neighborhood so she had not been mugged. Making a guess based on her direction of travel, I picked a target and hot-footed it to a local store. Bingo! Success. Limit of one package per customer (which would have been a good idea at the outset of the pandemic to deter hoarding).
When I returned home my wife said she should have put on the soundtrack from Chariots of Fire to celebrate my crossing the threshold.
We will continue to ration this precious find; after all, we have no idea how long it might be until the next shipment comes in.
On a more serious note: I realize that people are losing their lives, economies are being crushed, and citizens are divided on how this dreadful pandemic should be handled. In light of all that, a toilet paper shortage is a small inconvenience. Still, it has been totally unnecessary and it has added stress to an already awful situation.
Home From the Hunt
Men in hunter-gatherer societies fulfilled their manly role by bringing back meat from the hunt. Today I got a taste of the pride my ancestors experienced after a successful hunt - by bringing back a package of toilet paper to end the tissue drought. I became, for a brief time, The Toilet Paper King.
My son looked out the window and saw a woman walking by with a package of toilet paper in her arms. We live in a rather safe neighborhood so she had not been mugged. Making a guess based on her direction of travel, I picked a target and hot-footed it to a local store. Bingo! Success. Limit of one package per customer (which would have been a good idea at the outset of the pandemic to deter hoarding).
When I returned home my wife said she should have put on the soundtrack from Chariots of Fire to celebrate my crossing the threshold.
We will continue to ration this precious find; after all, we have no idea how long it might be until the next shipment comes in.
On a more serious note: I realize that people are losing their lives, economies are being crushed, and citizens are divided on how this dreadful pandemic should be handled. In light of all that, a toilet paper shortage is a small inconvenience. Still, it has been totally unnecessary and it has added stress to an already awful situation.