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he's sleeping on the couch and from the smell of it, he's been smoking in here again even though he knows i hate it. it's nearly six in the afternoon. turn on the afternoon local news but mute it and wash the dirty dishes in the sink, maybe straighten up a little in the kitchen. should i make him something to eat? he doesn't snore, god bless him, but when i look over at him, his legs move like a puppy's when he's dreaming. time for a shower.

 

afterward, i put on the same pair of pants i was wearing and when i come out of the bathroom, he has some pasta on the stove and a sauce pan of alfredo sauce. i walk over and give him a hug from behind and kiss his neck. he asks me how my day was and i tell him and he listens. he always listens to me and i wonder how uninteresting my day (or night, i guess) working at the warehouse must be to hear. he asks me about luis and i tell him. i think he's the only one of my co-workers he likes. he says maybe he really ought to get a job. he says it's not fair to me. of course, i tell him, no, he has to focus on his classes. he turns and kisses me.

 

we eat at the couch, watching some old seinfeld reruns. it's probably the only television show i like and can still watch every episode all the way through, even after all these years. he gets up and gets me a beer and asks if i want some more. i say he just needs to come back and sit next to me, i'll clean up later. he does. he asks me if i want to go to san diego my next weekend off. it's time for street scene and he really wants to go. i could do without all of that, the crowds and the sun and the terrible music and the bad art and even worse commercialism. he knows all of this, but he asks anyway and of course i say yes. his face lights up the way that makes me think he's just the most adorable man on earth. we have sex on the couch.

 

i get a phone call and my entire shift's been cut for today and the day after next. i ask my foreman if there's no way that i can make up the days and he says there isn't. i really can't afford to miss any days. but here i am, my night off and he's out with his friends. no car, no extra cash. i walk to the bar at the corner.

 

she says she's still having problems with her ex. i've met him and he's not that bad a guy, but i suppose when you're younger things taste different. over in the corner an older couple have set up camp, and from the looks of it they've been here for quite sometime: both look like they're not really paying attention to what the other is saying. she tells me she thinks they're married but not to each other, each keep getting calls on their cell phones but neither are answering. we look for a while but they're certainly carrying on like teenagers. i drink my first three beers within the hour. by the time the fifth comes, i know it's time to get home. she says i should come back later, hang out. i'm just drunk enough that i make sure to ask, just hang out or more than hang out. she smiles. i tell her we've had the conversation before, and it comes out a little more forceful than i mean, but she says, yeah, that's fine. tell her i'll see her later.

 

at home, he's back and he's tearing through the bedroom. i ask him what's going on and he says he can't find his phone. he's sure he left it here. i give him mine to call it but there's no ring anywhere in here. i'm a little hazy and i say maybe he left it somewhere else. he seems really worried and i tell him my shift got cut. he doesn't say anything about that or about me being half-drunk. he curses a lot but i can't be bothered right now. he says he's gotta go pick up his friends back at the bar they're at. i ask him who he's out with and he says some of the girls from class. i plop on the bed and fall asleep.

 

it's barely around midnight and he's still not home. i don't still feel drunk but do feel like my head's going to explode. definitely, i'm not a young guy anymore. i strip to my boxers and make myself some coffee. wonder what's going on at work. it's been so long when my boss hasn't needed me. i hope nothing more serious is happening. i hate this is the type of thing i have to think about. i should've finished those tech classes i was taking way back when. i should've gone to work with my cousins downtown when they offered. i need something more steady, more certain. i can't go on living paycheck to paycheck. i have someone else counting on me. that was the deal. sometimes i think i got all of this figured out and something like this happens. isn't that always the case?

 

at least he'll be home soon. he never stays out too late. and when he comes, and we go to bed, i'll get to wake up next to him and that hasn't happened in a long while. i like waking up next to him. if i told him he's probably think i was a little too cheezy. but that's okay isn't it, whenever you have someone next to you? all the work traumas and all the other minutia of your daily life, all of it goes away when you can say good morning to someone like him.

 

i pour myself another cup and that's when i see it, just above the stove, his cell phone. he must've been using it when he was making dinner, set it down and completely forgot all about it. maybe i shouldn't but i check his calls and his texts. because...i don't know why.

 

oh. and that's when everything ends...

Done