javanutmom
Moreso Authentic
This might look familiar to some of you. However, this is not only a redo, but somewhat a step forward for me.
For several years I have been one to dodge cameras. If not dodge, then just cringe at the fact that someone possessed tangible and permanent record of my appearance - no matter how bad I thought it looked. I was never terribly comfortable with the end result - and I seemed to focus only on my flaws... all the things that didnt seem quite right to me, about me. All the things I wish I could change. The imperfections in my skin, my wrinkles, the shape of a feature...
I remember taking the original, and working at it for some time to erase, erase, and erase some more. Smoothing out everything I could think to smooth. www.flickr.com/photos/javanutmom/98495842/in/set-1422251/ All the while I was browsing the beautiful photos of others with spots and wrinkles and minor maladies in their appearances. I loved the way they looked, with it all intact. It was real and it was totally wonderful. They were lovely in their imperfection. Why couldnt I see it in myself?
My personal goal then became to work toward a place of peace with my own self-portraits, or photos taken of me by others. I'm not all the way there, but I'm moving in the right direction. My desire is to take a self-portrait and not post-process the thing into something it wasnt meant to be. Something I wasnt meant to be. I'm not perfect. I'm not flawless.
I'm just me.
Moreso Authentic
This might look familiar to some of you. However, this is not only a redo, but somewhat a step forward for me.
For several years I have been one to dodge cameras. If not dodge, then just cringe at the fact that someone possessed tangible and permanent record of my appearance - no matter how bad I thought it looked. I was never terribly comfortable with the end result - and I seemed to focus only on my flaws... all the things that didnt seem quite right to me, about me. All the things I wish I could change. The imperfections in my skin, my wrinkles, the shape of a feature...
I remember taking the original, and working at it for some time to erase, erase, and erase some more. Smoothing out everything I could think to smooth. www.flickr.com/photos/javanutmom/98495842/in/set-1422251/ All the while I was browsing the beautiful photos of others with spots and wrinkles and minor maladies in their appearances. I loved the way they looked, with it all intact. It was real and it was totally wonderful. They were lovely in their imperfection. Why couldnt I see it in myself?
My personal goal then became to work toward a place of peace with my own self-portraits, or photos taken of me by others. I'm not all the way there, but I'm moving in the right direction. My desire is to take a self-portrait and not post-process the thing into something it wasnt meant to be. Something I wasnt meant to be. I'm not perfect. I'm not flawless.
I'm just me.