J. Johnson
08-28-10 - 165440
"Hash Trash #1472
Bewilderbeast and Pre Laid CumTrail; and Silent But Deadly as a completely unreliable Parental Supervisor (at least her involvement meant the Religious Advisor could stay...)
In the anals of Agana Hash history there have been many notable runs that have started at the Pacific Daily News building in Hagatna...this was not one of those trails though it will go down in history. This hash trash is being written immediately so I can stop thinking about it as soon as possible. Trail ran on pavement past the court house and the Angel "Welcome to Guam, now leave" Santos Memorial Latte Stone Park. True trail ran down toward the Attorney General's building (now sans "Eric the Eagle"). A check sent the pack up the powerline into Fort Apugan park - down the fence toward Naval Hospital's front gate and then into Agana Heights. The front pack of Likes It Longer, Amelia Airfart, Tonya Hardon, etc. were loving this stupid road running bullshit as we descended into the White Lady Bridge valley and crisscrossed swamp lands until we hit the Fonte River. The problem with athletes is that they run like hell on the road and then come to a screeching halt when they hit the bush. Likes It Longer demonstrated how to regroup the pack as she laboriously picked her way through the brush and hounds slammed into each other as they went from run to athlete in just a few moments. Little Running Shit in his tiresome loincloth opted to run Agana style past and soon we were hashing again. Bored with trail, I went for the river where lo and behold the stupid hares had put on-ons in yellow biodegradeable tape...now I'm all for more environmentally sensible hash flagging - but fucking yellow in a jungle? Are you kidding me?? It blended in with eighty percent of the foliage and matched the poop stripes on Little Running Shit's ass cloth. Giving up being FRB is hard for some hounds, but the first chance I got I bolted...listening to Amelia Airfart talking about his new bike was killing me. Up on Snake Road again we headed south only to run into fucking on-on's again. These damn hares were ruining my fly.
After getting passed again by all the athletes, I walked into the Chinese mom and pop store and bought a couple of beers and a bottle of water. When I came out the trail didn't turn toward the beach (which would have made it a complete freakin' loss) but turned uphill and ran behind the Pacific War Museum. Sharing is caring - so I gave a beer to flyer Bloody Q-Tip and took off. The pack at this point had devolved in roaming groups of flyers, true trailers, and those of us somewhere in between.
Trail continued uphill to Murray Road on a slow slog past the old dam and upstream. Limestone crags and features entertained the now ass dragging puppies as they gained altitude. Constant criticism of the hares continued until we realized this was Bewilderbeasts Revenge on the FRB's - he would surely cut the trail in half with an Eagle-Turkey split but that never happened. At religion later it was revealed that there was in fact two trails - they just forgot to tell anyone, mark the eagle/turkey split, or make it findable...hmmm....
Trail did more road running past the fire station on Nimitz Hill, past Flag Circle, and turned back into the bush across from Top O' The Mar. After slogging through a section that it was obvious the hares had been completely lost on -we arrived at the power lines. Once again, no check, just a continuation of stupid hash setting as the trail ran across and into the river valley. The FRB's all looked at the trail and laughed. Fuck these hares - they are just going to come out up hill...yep, trail came out at Fonte River dam's entrance trail - so we skipped that portion. Next up, another trail heading into the bush to the left - this was also stupid and thus avoided. We arrived at the former COMNAVMAR, former Guam High, now under construction to be Joint Region Marianas building to find fresh flour. Too fresh as it turns out since Tonya Hardon and Likes It Longer had run down the hare and pantsed him at his on-home.
Hashers dribbled in for the next two hours. Trail was listed at 5.3 miles or so...FRB's and flyers may have ran more or less. Religion at the powerline overlooking Maina would have been great if Mother Nature hadn't decided to unleash all of the rain she hadn't spilled throughout the day upon the pack. While moving my car to let BeanDad, Rip Van Wanker, and Hulk Hogan out; the peddle stuck and next thing I knew I was in...Yona.
Haj Sex ET
Scribe"
08-28-10 - 165440
"Hash Trash #1472
Bewilderbeast and Pre Laid CumTrail; and Silent But Deadly as a completely unreliable Parental Supervisor (at least her involvement meant the Religious Advisor could stay...)
In the anals of Agana Hash history there have been many notable runs that have started at the Pacific Daily News building in Hagatna...this was not one of those trails though it will go down in history. This hash trash is being written immediately so I can stop thinking about it as soon as possible. Trail ran on pavement past the court house and the Angel "Welcome to Guam, now leave" Santos Memorial Latte Stone Park. True trail ran down toward the Attorney General's building (now sans "Eric the Eagle"). A check sent the pack up the powerline into Fort Apugan park - down the fence toward Naval Hospital's front gate and then into Agana Heights. The front pack of Likes It Longer, Amelia Airfart, Tonya Hardon, etc. were loving this stupid road running bullshit as we descended into the White Lady Bridge valley and crisscrossed swamp lands until we hit the Fonte River. The problem with athletes is that they run like hell on the road and then come to a screeching halt when they hit the bush. Likes It Longer demonstrated how to regroup the pack as she laboriously picked her way through the brush and hounds slammed into each other as they went from run to athlete in just a few moments. Little Running Shit in his tiresome loincloth opted to run Agana style past and soon we were hashing again. Bored with trail, I went for the river where lo and behold the stupid hares had put on-ons in yellow biodegradeable tape...now I'm all for more environmentally sensible hash flagging - but fucking yellow in a jungle? Are you kidding me?? It blended in with eighty percent of the foliage and matched the poop stripes on Little Running Shit's ass cloth. Giving up being FRB is hard for some hounds, but the first chance I got I bolted...listening to Amelia Airfart talking about his new bike was killing me. Up on Snake Road again we headed south only to run into fucking on-on's again. These damn hares were ruining my fly.
After getting passed again by all the athletes, I walked into the Chinese mom and pop store and bought a couple of beers and a bottle of water. When I came out the trail didn't turn toward the beach (which would have made it a complete freakin' loss) but turned uphill and ran behind the Pacific War Museum. Sharing is caring - so I gave a beer to flyer Bloody Q-Tip and took off. The pack at this point had devolved in roaming groups of flyers, true trailers, and those of us somewhere in between.
Trail continued uphill to Murray Road on a slow slog past the old dam and upstream. Limestone crags and features entertained the now ass dragging puppies as they gained altitude. Constant criticism of the hares continued until we realized this was Bewilderbeasts Revenge on the FRB's - he would surely cut the trail in half with an Eagle-Turkey split but that never happened. At religion later it was revealed that there was in fact two trails - they just forgot to tell anyone, mark the eagle/turkey split, or make it findable...hmmm....
Trail did more road running past the fire station on Nimitz Hill, past Flag Circle, and turned back into the bush across from Top O' The Mar. After slogging through a section that it was obvious the hares had been completely lost on -we arrived at the power lines. Once again, no check, just a continuation of stupid hash setting as the trail ran across and into the river valley. The FRB's all looked at the trail and laughed. Fuck these hares - they are just going to come out up hill...yep, trail came out at Fonte River dam's entrance trail - so we skipped that portion. Next up, another trail heading into the bush to the left - this was also stupid and thus avoided. We arrived at the former COMNAVMAR, former Guam High, now under construction to be Joint Region Marianas building to find fresh flour. Too fresh as it turns out since Tonya Hardon and Likes It Longer had run down the hare and pantsed him at his on-home.
Hashers dribbled in for the next two hours. Trail was listed at 5.3 miles or so...FRB's and flyers may have ran more or less. Religion at the powerline overlooking Maina would have been great if Mother Nature hadn't decided to unleash all of the rain she hadn't spilled throughout the day upon the pack. While moving my car to let BeanDad, Rip Van Wanker, and Hulk Hogan out; the peddle stuck and next thing I knew I was in...Yona.
Haj Sex ET
Scribe"