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Protection from Teachers

Nearly 70 years ago, I had several teachers who believed corporal punishment should not be limited to a student’s home. I discovered this, much to my chagrin, when I stepped over an invisible behavioral line they had drawn for budding criminals like myself.

 

One teacher was shorter than I already was in junior high, but unfortunately, he was built like a fireplug and had quick reflexes, so quick, in fact, that he might have set a state record closing the distance between his desk and mine after I might have caused a minor disruption.

 

He didn’t administer a long discipline session with his frantic efforts, but it was effective enough to open a two-inch cut above my eyebrow.

 

An uneasy silence engulfed our classroom when he clumsily handed me a paper towel to staunch the flow of blood and told me to go to the boy’s locker room. I was met there by the football coach. He took one look at me and said, “I don’t even have to ask who did that to you.” I have always wondered what he meant by that.

 

In retrospect, that incident could have been somewhat alleviated if I would have had a tongue like this Pileated Woodpecker.

 

The largest woodpecker in the US has a tongue that can extend up to 4 inches beyond the tip of its bill. When the woodpecker is pounding its head against a tree, the tongue retracts inwardly and wraps around the back of its skull to protect it from the concussions of the taps.

 

I wish my mom and dad had thought of that.

 

(Photographed near Cambridge, MN)

 

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Uploaded on June 18, 2025