Me
January, 1959. Age 2 1/2. Beaverton, Oregon.
Nice chair.
I shot this self-portrait of my ownself with the first digital camera I made while it was in Beta. It took 4 feckin decades before I perfected it and I've now retired on the big bucks rolling in from the patents. My good friend Rube Goldberg devised a device to trip the shutter since there were no self-timers back then. I knew at age 2 that I would pursue photography for life.
My list of 16 things (and I'll be damned if I remember where I'm supposed to post this to)
1)My name is Guy. Really. I still find it hard to believe at those restaurants where they take your name instead of giving you a number that at times I’m asked, “How do you spell it?”
2)My older brother, who I shared a bed with in our formative years, gave me the nickname “Woody” due to the daily occurrence of morning wood. I called him bonehead for basically the same reason.
3)I belive In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida was the first 17-minute Christian-rock song that’s a mondegreen.
4)My wife thinks I’m some kind of misanthrope for laughing heartily at this one: When God saw Adam sulking around alone in the Garden of Eden he told him he had a plan to make him happy. “I will make for you a mate. She will care for your home, prepare your meals, bear your children, never have a headache and be perfect in all ways.” And Adam said, “What will this cost me?” God replied, “an arm and a leg.” Adam thought for a moment and said, “What can I get for a rib?” And the rest is history.
5)When I turned 50 I had a colonoscopy and honestly thought the series of images made by the scope were way cool and something like looking in the Time Tunnel. When the doctor told me I was good to go and could have my next one in ten years I was crestfallen but won’t miss the night-before routine (talk about something chapping my ass).
6)When I was in high school I filled out a magazine subscription and had it addressed to Hugh G. Rection, Principal of J.J. Pearce High School.
7) I’m of Blasian decent (part Black, part Asian from my grandparents) but can’t play golf quite as well as Tiger Woods. That’s always chapped my ass.
8)Once every 11 years I make a hole-in-one so my fourth is due in 9 years when I’m 61. I hope my fourth child isn’t due then too.
9) While playing Scrabble with my first wife’s parents during meet-the-parents week I’m afraid I left a bad impression by steadfastly arguing that fuckoff is one work and therefore good for 50-points bonus.
10) My first full-time job was at Bill’s Bait Shack at Lake Texoma. Bill promised that if I’d work hard he’d give me a raise. In no time I rose to the position of Master Baiter.
11) I was a virgin until I married (unless you count the two summers I worked at my uncle’s sheep ranch).
12) My all-time favorite joke is this: There were two peanuts walking down a dark alley in New York. One was assaulted.
13) As a freshman law student at Georgetown I wrote a term paper about tort reform and was expelled because the humorless adjunct professor didn’t appreciate my explanation of the history of the torte in French cuisine and how during the Reformation the recipe was adapted to address the grievances of pastry chefs injured in service to the throne.
14) In high school debate class I had to make an argument for or against those who prosecuted the Boxer Rebellion. I just couldn’t decide between boxers and briefs.
15) In my only Copy Editing class we were given a geography quiz and a map to mark the locations of 30 places. The only one I missed was Perth. I know it’s a long time to harbor a grudge but I haven’t liked the Austrailopithicans since. Knuckle-draggers.
16) I don’t always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer O’l Froshingschlos.
Me
January, 1959. Age 2 1/2. Beaverton, Oregon.
Nice chair.
I shot this self-portrait of my ownself with the first digital camera I made while it was in Beta. It took 4 feckin decades before I perfected it and I've now retired on the big bucks rolling in from the patents. My good friend Rube Goldberg devised a device to trip the shutter since there were no self-timers back then. I knew at age 2 that I would pursue photography for life.
My list of 16 things (and I'll be damned if I remember where I'm supposed to post this to)
1)My name is Guy. Really. I still find it hard to believe at those restaurants where they take your name instead of giving you a number that at times I’m asked, “How do you spell it?”
2)My older brother, who I shared a bed with in our formative years, gave me the nickname “Woody” due to the daily occurrence of morning wood. I called him bonehead for basically the same reason.
3)I belive In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida was the first 17-minute Christian-rock song that’s a mondegreen.
4)My wife thinks I’m some kind of misanthrope for laughing heartily at this one: When God saw Adam sulking around alone in the Garden of Eden he told him he had a plan to make him happy. “I will make for you a mate. She will care for your home, prepare your meals, bear your children, never have a headache and be perfect in all ways.” And Adam said, “What will this cost me?” God replied, “an arm and a leg.” Adam thought for a moment and said, “What can I get for a rib?” And the rest is history.
5)When I turned 50 I had a colonoscopy and honestly thought the series of images made by the scope were way cool and something like looking in the Time Tunnel. When the doctor told me I was good to go and could have my next one in ten years I was crestfallen but won’t miss the night-before routine (talk about something chapping my ass).
6)When I was in high school I filled out a magazine subscription and had it addressed to Hugh G. Rection, Principal of J.J. Pearce High School.
7) I’m of Blasian decent (part Black, part Asian from my grandparents) but can’t play golf quite as well as Tiger Woods. That’s always chapped my ass.
8)Once every 11 years I make a hole-in-one so my fourth is due in 9 years when I’m 61. I hope my fourth child isn’t due then too.
9) While playing Scrabble with my first wife’s parents during meet-the-parents week I’m afraid I left a bad impression by steadfastly arguing that fuckoff is one work and therefore good for 50-points bonus.
10) My first full-time job was at Bill’s Bait Shack at Lake Texoma. Bill promised that if I’d work hard he’d give me a raise. In no time I rose to the position of Master Baiter.
11) I was a virgin until I married (unless you count the two summers I worked at my uncle’s sheep ranch).
12) My all-time favorite joke is this: There were two peanuts walking down a dark alley in New York. One was assaulted.
13) As a freshman law student at Georgetown I wrote a term paper about tort reform and was expelled because the humorless adjunct professor didn’t appreciate my explanation of the history of the torte in French cuisine and how during the Reformation the recipe was adapted to address the grievances of pastry chefs injured in service to the throne.
14) In high school debate class I had to make an argument for or against those who prosecuted the Boxer Rebellion. I just couldn’t decide between boxers and briefs.
15) In my only Copy Editing class we were given a geography quiz and a map to mark the locations of 30 places. The only one I missed was Perth. I know it’s a long time to harbor a grudge but I haven’t liked the Austrailopithicans since. Knuckle-draggers.
16) I don’t always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer O’l Froshingschlos.