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86: Stick a fork in me...

I'm done.

 

At least, I'm ready to be done. I moved a lot of my stuff out of the dorm in the last day. There's actually an echo in my room now. I'm just very ready to move on. I've been disheartened by the way certain aspects of this year went in the hall, and it's all catching up to me at the end. My floor rocked my socks off, but outside of that it got ugly sometimes.

 

Lately, I've been really stressed. Part of it is the paper due in 48 hours that I haven't started. Another part of it is this whole graduating and taking the next step in life thing. Regardless, I've been noticing myself falling into classic trends that I follow when stressed.

 

For years upon years I've dealt with nervous tics. They are a wide variety of physical actions and sounds that I can't control making when I'm feeling on edge. Generally this problem has been pacified in the last few years. However, the last few weeks have caused a total relapse, and it's really pissing me off.

 

Bottom line: I'm very tired of life as it has been recently. I want nothing more than to start writing the next chapter and wipe my hands clean of all this.

 

PS: I apologize for the high emo content of this shot.

 

Song for the day: Fred Jones Part 2 by Ben Folds (the video edits it a little, but I like what they did)

 

Fred sits alone at his desk in the dark

There's an awkward young shadow that waits in the hall

He's cleared all his things and he's put them in boxes

Things that remind him: 'Life has been good'

Twenty-five years

He's worked at the paper

A man's here to take him downstairs

And I'm sorry, Mr. Jones

It's time

There was no party, there were no songs

'Cause today's just a day like the day that he started

No one is left here that knows his first name

And life barrels on like a runaway train

Where the passengers change

They don't change anything

You get off; someone else can get on

And I'm sorry, Mr. Jones

It's time

Streetlight shines through the shades

Casting lines on the floor, and lines on his face

He reflects on the day

Fred gets his paints out and goes to the basement

Projecting some slides onto a plain white

Canvas and traces it

Fills in the spaces

He turns off the slides, and it doesn't look right

Yeah, and all of these bastards

Have taken his place

He's forgotten but not yet gone

And I'm sorry, Mr. Jones

And I'm sorry, Mr. Jones

And I'm sorry, Mr. Jones

It's time

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Uploaded on May 13, 2008
Taken on May 13, 2008