GOD BLESS YOU AND THE HUMAN RACE ENTIRELY...

www.flickr.com/photos/genefreeman/51808907911/in/photostr...

АNNO 1971

...in personal approximation

and search of single quantum of freedom

to Exist, as personality of Individual, as being

me-Myself in all aspects as resonance

of binding positive emotions to be degraded

and trans-mutated from the norm

of being Human, and independent member of

Human race existed with out stated theorem,

or critical re-marks with out its collectively

dysfunctional chimera, object, model of named

sublimed such "persona incognito non-grata" -

I missed my train again, and run and run anew

through their vigilant totalitarian sharp eyes of the

control, dictating me and everyone including you,

in every fragmentary aspect that I can't,

and what I should, or must I do by their tyrannic

"Do!" command from Party far above, controlling ego,

brain, plus consciousness and Will in their armful

sweaty, hairy hands by digging, sorting and

Personality and Dreams, and reliability behavior

of Subject, by their model-built ability to smash

and kill, and such regime presents Commissars'

politically manifested force, its pointer, political

and total supervision and power to oppress,

to hold securely, suppress and to control

not only by the strength of my hands:

the most important to hold in iron vise the Will,

and brains, of mine and others, by bending

under their yoke, and breaking by a force

free moments and dynamics of free Will,

because:

"The Party is the Helmsman, and Honor

and Conscience" of all the People,

(which is the punch-line of Marxist manifesto!)

and to suppress me in their effort to be my-self,

by forcing by Decrees to think, to dance and

to express according "as bequeathed" by their

bloodies and greatest leaders at behest of

Karla-maxa, having shot a-mass, infected all

by Spanish-flu, and forcing mass to starve by

shortages of food, and mass-repressing entire

nation by iron-fist of "Red-Terror" under

convoy to underground mines and all Siberian taiga,

too-too! to deadly frozen Solovki, and Kolyma, and everywhere to omni-potent monstrous GULAG,

and each of bloody labor camps, exterminating life

as if at "Eastern Front", according to manifested

"quarantine" decrees, and totalitarian mandates

that deadly changed my Mother's life

and consciousness of her to Null-and-zero...

All those agitators, activists and party's leaders

being armed with Marxian indoctrination

against legality of Owners' capital to take away,

for which extortion I Per-se objected and gave up my citizenship by naivete for illusory Freedom to be my-self

in own volume of modest thoughts and Soul,

were running through the cinder Post-and-block, and

through rails and ways to history unfortunate in

its entirety to replicate "It-self", to move away from

history and set of lost ago in vanished Past initial,

abolished points been flowing from the basin "A" into arbitrary set of "B" inherent in stream off fluid where

eyes shaped these Water flocks, and rather

upon further fast attraction to alphabet

washed up me on the shores of flooded,

but still bucolic Vienna already prematurely

aborted and deserted without crowd and

without pillars in arms of euphoria of jubilation

and Yugends, Folks, and such enthusiastic

as it never happened before, almost emptiness,

approaching Spring has been already swept

away a remnant snow from so shiny pavements

with admiration raged, forgetting firmly ringing

echo of horseshoes and steps-chased by

lacquered boots from such unknown always

returning cycle "Again"...

And many trees by losing their leaves spelled

uttered silent whisper "I'm sorry ..." for those

years that have passed since sad resentment,

however, all fat muzzles were devoured, growing

as it should be, two hanging navels, almost like

ham in color of their shiny eyes, showcases,

and counters with "pillar-to-eat", deserted

streets without helpful taxis-cabs,

without marching nurses and rallies with poster:

"I want to live like my Dear-Soviet nurse!"

brainwashed by propaganda off,

O, you F...en-naive-Ladies! for my three

grosh-a-pennies, yes! for a salary at night

emergent over-loaded rooms by pain

were brought in shifts to Ob-Gyn floor at midnight

by "miscarriage-patients" full-filled all night by

unfortunate poor predominantly working-class

young Females from all the outskirts of One-million

city in my forgotten days - they brought all those from

exhaustive overwork, and losing lives of premature

life-less macerated fetuses, and endless repetition

of tragic losses was also communal Soviet way of

communistic Life, the only thing perhaps

"uniquely fair", and so roams pain raking

tribute to Marxist regime from Near Mills

"to-opposite" behind the fence and cemetery's

gates without an escort, along the graves

without "Peace" ...

But in that Vienna stood a market with

all essential for me The Books, on Lingos far

before my birthday lost-forgotten, and from

the Soviet period hunger ripples to this day

stands before my eyes,

but there was no penny to dive into the revelry

of the abundance of pages still unread...

Additionally, there is exists a first impression.

almost invisible as feeling, rather an epiphany,

from first firmness of independent steps,

even before of reading all the whiteness of

folios, and pages, and other things, as pledge

of my foundation upon the Snow-First of virgin

in the midst of fright! of course delight that

foot of mine steps upon so firmly on something

covered with thick and many! white! by childish

standards still subject to transmutation by

energies of Hope emitted

through thousands of days of expectation,

that fundamentally intrinsic a-la dim Dream

between initial and current, but still a Dream...

Yes, the sum of expectations still old and left

in similarity of sled about mountain from

those Past remaining since, as if in depths upon

Neuronal bundles and transmitters conducting

impulses to cortex Consciousness formation,

and within the Cortex and structures deep

between admitted that I am only a particle

of Your majestic Greatness,

and in the miserliness of this phenomenon

does not diminish belongings and flesh

and crumbs the course of thought

to realize my-Self just as elementary particle...

 

(Night-Shift-ER-Gyn-Obs, 1971 начато, 2022 доработано, неокончено)

Done