Galactic Dreams
Jazz Sax
I lost my soul to playing music when I was 14 years old. I found myself struggling to survive in ways that young teens should not have to deal with. The only way that I could deal with my life was to open myself up to God and music. What I was dealing with was my adult male neighbor, who was sexually abusing me. I had no way to escape the situation, no friends, and no one to help me.
I began to subconsciously push all the negative things out of my mind until I was completely living in denial. Living in a state of denial allowed me to live with more joy and success than I would have otherwise had. For 3 years bad things continued to happen to me at the hands of my neighbor, I constantly felt deeply terrified. Without God and music in my life, through my teenage years, I would not be here today. I don’t know if I would be dead or just a completely different person, but I know they saved me from myself.
I played my musical instruments for hours on end, almost never ceasing. I played, sang, and played some more all in an effort (I presume) to create some sort of peace and rightness in my life. Playing music helped me, praying to God helped me, but still I was a disastrous mess inside. I was difficult to live with; I felt alienated from the world and had no friends; I felt truly evil and disgusting, like I was the whore he had made me become.
I didn't start feeling slightly better until I was able to receive help in the form of professional counseling when I was 25 (almost 26). For 3 years I have been struggling in agony to create improvement of my mental health. I have made some progress forward but there was so much hidden inside me that its completely torn me down to reveal it. I am rebuilding a real person from the inside and nobody knows how hard that is unless they have been there.
What I ask, in writing this small portion of my story, is for all people to show compassion and love to the people who you know are struggling with mental illness. For varying reasons, we will often fail to disclose that we are struggling or even considering killing ourselves (because we think it would be the humane thing to do). I ask you to please be empathetic and compassionate on those around you.
The world would be a better place if everyone were simply kind to one another.
Photographs are © Copyright Galactic Dreams (or others when indicated) and are not in the public domain and may not be used on blogs, websites, or in other media without advance written permission from Galactic Dreams.
Jazz Sax
I lost my soul to playing music when I was 14 years old. I found myself struggling to survive in ways that young teens should not have to deal with. The only way that I could deal with my life was to open myself up to God and music. What I was dealing with was my adult male neighbor, who was sexually abusing me. I had no way to escape the situation, no friends, and no one to help me.
I began to subconsciously push all the negative things out of my mind until I was completely living in denial. Living in a state of denial allowed me to live with more joy and success than I would have otherwise had. For 3 years bad things continued to happen to me at the hands of my neighbor, I constantly felt deeply terrified. Without God and music in my life, through my teenage years, I would not be here today. I don’t know if I would be dead or just a completely different person, but I know they saved me from myself.
I played my musical instruments for hours on end, almost never ceasing. I played, sang, and played some more all in an effort (I presume) to create some sort of peace and rightness in my life. Playing music helped me, praying to God helped me, but still I was a disastrous mess inside. I was difficult to live with; I felt alienated from the world and had no friends; I felt truly evil and disgusting, like I was the whore he had made me become.
I didn't start feeling slightly better until I was able to receive help in the form of professional counseling when I was 25 (almost 26). For 3 years I have been struggling in agony to create improvement of my mental health. I have made some progress forward but there was so much hidden inside me that its completely torn me down to reveal it. I am rebuilding a real person from the inside and nobody knows how hard that is unless they have been there.
What I ask, in writing this small portion of my story, is for all people to show compassion and love to the people who you know are struggling with mental illness. For varying reasons, we will often fail to disclose that we are struggling or even considering killing ourselves (because we think it would be the humane thing to do). I ask you to please be empathetic and compassionate on those around you.
The world would be a better place if everyone were simply kind to one another.
Photographs are © Copyright Galactic Dreams (or others when indicated) and are not in the public domain and may not be used on blogs, websites, or in other media without advance written permission from Galactic Dreams.