One Kroger Watermelon Shall Rule Them All!
The last two seedless watermelons I purchased from Kroger’s went directly into the garbage can. I contacted the Kroger headquarters and they immediately credited me $15.00 to my Kroger’s account. I went to my local Kroger’s on Boonville Road in Bryan, Texas a couple of days later. I wound up spending $70 something which came to $60 or so with the credit.
As I was standing in the produce department buying lettuce and bell peppers, I couldn’t help but look over to the large pallets of watermelons. They had watermelons with seeds! Watermelons without seeds (seedless) make Jesus cry! Also, they are never ever as sweet as a melon with seeds!
I utilized my Texas A&M Engineering skills and picked the perfect melon using three of the four or five “tells” about picking a good melon. I immediately placed it in the refrigerator when I returned home because one shouldn’t slice a watermelon when it’s not cold. Something about the cellular structure with warm melon.
When the Kroger melon was suitably chilled, I cut off the top and bottom for the slaughter. My immediate thought was, “Holy Mother of Baby Jesus on a Donkey! This going to be the best melon ever!” Even the Alamo Basement Texas Aggie Ring agreed.
The flesh inside that melon was so crisp. Crisp! It was like biting into a Granny Smith apple made of sugar.
It has been foretold for generations, “One Kroger Watermelon Shall Rule Them All!”
One Kroger Watermelon Shall Rule Them All!
The last two seedless watermelons I purchased from Kroger’s went directly into the garbage can. I contacted the Kroger headquarters and they immediately credited me $15.00 to my Kroger’s account. I went to my local Kroger’s on Boonville Road in Bryan, Texas a couple of days later. I wound up spending $70 something which came to $60 or so with the credit.
As I was standing in the produce department buying lettuce and bell peppers, I couldn’t help but look over to the large pallets of watermelons. They had watermelons with seeds! Watermelons without seeds (seedless) make Jesus cry! Also, they are never ever as sweet as a melon with seeds!
I utilized my Texas A&M Engineering skills and picked the perfect melon using three of the four or five “tells” about picking a good melon. I immediately placed it in the refrigerator when I returned home because one shouldn’t slice a watermelon when it’s not cold. Something about the cellular structure with warm melon.
When the Kroger melon was suitably chilled, I cut off the top and bottom for the slaughter. My immediate thought was, “Holy Mother of Baby Jesus on a Donkey! This going to be the best melon ever!” Even the Alamo Basement Texas Aggie Ring agreed.
The flesh inside that melon was so crisp. Crisp! It was like biting into a Granny Smith apple made of sugar.
It has been foretold for generations, “One Kroger Watermelon Shall Rule Them All!”