Cayenne-Dusted Pineapple Jerky
When the Jersey Shore Fightin’ Texas Aggie Ring and I woke up this morning, we went downstairs and opened the “big ass” dehydrator.
“Well.” I told the Aggie Ring. “It looks like Mr. Dehydrator has been doing his job.”
“He only has one job. He had better have been doing it.” laughed the Aggie Ring.
This particular recipe is a test batch of “Cayenne-Dusted Pineapple Jerky” that we wanted to try out before we make an even bigger batch to send to our Soulless Ginger 18th Airborne coffee boy who’s currently reclassifying his MOS at Army Medic School because the Airborne needs more medics to deploy with.
There were probably between three and four pounds of finished product.
“Well, I might as well try one to see how they taste.” I told the Aggie Ring.
“For the love of God, NO!” cried out the Aggie Ring.
“Why not?” I asked.
“You don’t know if those things are safe. You don’t know.” explained Aggie Ring. “We need to find someone to try them before I let you sample one.”
“Who then?” I enquired of the Aggie Ring.
“Well…” said the Aggie Ring as he cogitated about it. “Someone young, whose life doesn’t have a purpose yet and who no one will miss if the pineapple kills him.”
“I know!” I exclaimed to the Aggie Ring. “We can have the 19 year-old EMT boy who comes into the coffee shop every day try them. If they kill him, well, no one is ever going to miss some teenage EMT boy.”
“Excellent choice.” said Aggie Ring.
The Aggie Ring bagged up a couple of pounds of the hot pineapple jerky to take up for our morning coffee. Sure as the sun shines and Johnny Manziel is going to get intercepted, EMT boy showed up for a foo-foo coffee on his way to college class.
The Aggie Ring and I cornered him outside at one of the tables. “Now, no one will question your manhood if you don’t want to try one.” said Aggie Ring.
“I can take it.” cried out the EMT boy. “I like hot stuff.”
Aggie Ring let out his trademark “Evil Aggie Ring™” laugh. “Sure, go ahead boy.”
The EMT boy opened up the bag and tentatively took out a single ring of the cayenne dusted pineapple jerky. I think it burnt his fingers slightly. He held it up and smiled for the camera. Then, he took a bite out of it. He looked terribly frightened. Aggie Ring was afraid he was going to burst into tears.
Suddenly, as he was still chewing his first bite, he spoke out (still with food in his mouth). “Oh, this is good!” He told Aggie Ring and myself “Thank you” as he took the two-pound bag and headed directly to his car so he wouldn’t have to share with anyone inside.
Aggie Ring laughed and told me, “Well, I guess we need to get home and start a production batch to send to the 18th Airborne Ginger Medic.”
When we arrived back home, I tried a slice. It was crispy on the outside, but chewy on the inside. Sort of like a gummy bear. However, the cayenne made it seem like the gummy bear was alive and clawing its way down your throat.
#AggieRing
Cayenne-Dusted Pineapple Jerky
When the Jersey Shore Fightin’ Texas Aggie Ring and I woke up this morning, we went downstairs and opened the “big ass” dehydrator.
“Well.” I told the Aggie Ring. “It looks like Mr. Dehydrator has been doing his job.”
“He only has one job. He had better have been doing it.” laughed the Aggie Ring.
This particular recipe is a test batch of “Cayenne-Dusted Pineapple Jerky” that we wanted to try out before we make an even bigger batch to send to our Soulless Ginger 18th Airborne coffee boy who’s currently reclassifying his MOS at Army Medic School because the Airborne needs more medics to deploy with.
There were probably between three and four pounds of finished product.
“Well, I might as well try one to see how they taste.” I told the Aggie Ring.
“For the love of God, NO!” cried out the Aggie Ring.
“Why not?” I asked.
“You don’t know if those things are safe. You don’t know.” explained Aggie Ring. “We need to find someone to try them before I let you sample one.”
“Who then?” I enquired of the Aggie Ring.
“Well…” said the Aggie Ring as he cogitated about it. “Someone young, whose life doesn’t have a purpose yet and who no one will miss if the pineapple kills him.”
“I know!” I exclaimed to the Aggie Ring. “We can have the 19 year-old EMT boy who comes into the coffee shop every day try them. If they kill him, well, no one is ever going to miss some teenage EMT boy.”
“Excellent choice.” said Aggie Ring.
The Aggie Ring bagged up a couple of pounds of the hot pineapple jerky to take up for our morning coffee. Sure as the sun shines and Johnny Manziel is going to get intercepted, EMT boy showed up for a foo-foo coffee on his way to college class.
The Aggie Ring and I cornered him outside at one of the tables. “Now, no one will question your manhood if you don’t want to try one.” said Aggie Ring.
“I can take it.” cried out the EMT boy. “I like hot stuff.”
Aggie Ring let out his trademark “Evil Aggie Ring™” laugh. “Sure, go ahead boy.”
The EMT boy opened up the bag and tentatively took out a single ring of the cayenne dusted pineapple jerky. I think it burnt his fingers slightly. He held it up and smiled for the camera. Then, he took a bite out of it. He looked terribly frightened. Aggie Ring was afraid he was going to burst into tears.
Suddenly, as he was still chewing his first bite, he spoke out (still with food in his mouth). “Oh, this is good!” He told Aggie Ring and myself “Thank you” as he took the two-pound bag and headed directly to his car so he wouldn’t have to share with anyone inside.
Aggie Ring laughed and told me, “Well, I guess we need to get home and start a production batch to send to the 18th Airborne Ginger Medic.”
When we arrived back home, I tried a slice. It was crispy on the outside, but chewy on the inside. Sort of like a gummy bear. However, the cayenne made it seem like the gummy bear was alive and clawing its way down your throat.
#AggieRing