26.365 Sound of Settling

I've got a hunger

Twisting my stomach into knots.

That my tongue has tied off.

 

My brain's repeating

"If you've got an impulse let it out"

But they never make it past my mouth.

 

Bop ba, this is the sound of settling

Bop ba, Bop ba

 

Our youth is fleeting,

Old age is just around the bend.

And I can't wait to go gray.

 

And I'll sit and wonder

Of every love that could've been.

If I'd only thought of something charming to say.

 

Bop ba, this is the sound of settling

Bop ba, Bop ba.

 

I've got a hunger twisting my stomach into knots.

 

- Death Cab for Cutie, Sound of Settling

 

This is such a lame interpretation of this song, but it's meaningful to me.

 

I started my last semester of student teaching today. All the work I've put in, all the wondering about my abilities as a teacher, all the questioning of my career change at the age of 23 is finally settling. I had to buy clothes to make myself look teachery, I've done all this preparation, all without knowing for sure whether I was actually good at it or not. Sure, I've had other teaching experiences, and I was confident going into class today, but it's really the first time I really believed I am going to be good at this. I'm going to accomplish my goals, and I'm going to be happy with my career. Everything is settling down, finally.

 

Of course, it's just one day. I'm sure there will be days where I hate being a teacher, but I really feel right about it today.

 

So this is me, on the day where I felt really good about being a teacher. Here goes nothin'!

 

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Done