tonight's the night the world begins again

It’s like counting the number of tiles on the ceiling or the stars in the sky. You do anything you can to pass the time. It’s laying awake at night and wishing you could change the world when you can’t even make a change for yourself. You do everything you can but it’s never enough. It’s the moments in between sleep that pull you apart at the seams. It leaves you comparing your expectations to reality like the way you’d compare a summer breeze to a winter breeze; pleasant and unwanted, warm and cold. You’re doing what you can. Those minutes where I’m alone, just me and my pillow. I think. A lot. I think about everything, anything. It varies from “What am I doing with my life?” to “Did I have homework?” or “Will I ever get into college?” The room is so silent, but my mind is so loud. It drives me crazy because the things I would never think about, I think about. Sometimes, I hate it because it brings up things I rather never think about again. The split second before sleep is the most active second of my life.

Done