tagged.

hello, my name is emily.

i am fifteen years old, for now. but sometimes it feels as if i'm thirty-five and sometimes it feels as if i'm eight or nine.

i've always said i don't care what people think of me, but i've always known that that's not quite true. this time, though, i think i mean it - and no one's going to take that away from me. i do what i want, i wear what i want, i think what i want, and i'll carry on just like this for as long as i damn well please.

i say what's on my mind; that's something i've always done. i'll be honest to you even if i think it'll hurt you. i have no secrets except those i keep for other people, and if you think you'll ever hear those, you're clearly delusional.

my temper is insane; i yell at people who deserve it, and more than one person has told me i'm going to get beat up for it. but i am not brave and i am not strong. i'm so much weaker than i'd like to admit, and i'm terrified that people are going to find out.

the thought of taking anything seriously scares me, and that includes photography. and i'd like to think that i'm "growing out of" flickr and tumblr, but the thought of doing everything without the support of all you guys scares me. and i have no idea what i want to do when i grow up; i don't know what classes to take or what to do with my spare time. i don't want to have to be a perfect student all the time, but i am anyway because i bs my way through. i want to change schools so badly but i know that that's not going to be the solution to everything: at the end of the day, high school is still going to be high school. but the idea of getting a fresh start feels so tantalizingly real to me... until i realize just what i'd be leaving behind.

oh yeah, i forgot to mention: i'm scared of leaving anything and i'm scared of losing everything.

Done