The Delhi Telegraph #Brexit partition π¬π§ via @PrivateEyeNews
Partition is the only solution says India
by Salmon Rushjob
It has taken a top indian civil servant, Sanjit Penpusha, to come up with the answer to what is to happen to Britain after it becomes independent.
Sent out from Delhi to assist the new UK government with how to solve problems posted by a population bitterly divided by the religious views, Mr Penpusha has decided that there is no prospect of the two main mutually hostile groups ever living peacefully again.
Penpusha has therefore drawn a line down the middle of the country and ruled that, post-independence, all the Leavers should live on one side in the north, and all the Remainers should live in the south.
This partition plan is controversial because, on each side of the line, there are substantial minorities who do not fit into this sweeping division of the country.
It is feared that the moment independence comes, at the stroke of midnight on March 19th 2019, huge numbers of devout Brexiteers and Remoaners will be forced to flee from their homes to seek refuge the other side of the line.
Said one elderly British observer, Mahatma Gandalf, "it's going to be total chaos. I forsee millions of refugees desperate to board trains in each direction, hoping to join fellow believers as the country is irrevocably split into two.
"The only hope, " he concluded, "is that the train service has now become so bad that no one will be able to go anywhere. So they'll just have to stay where they are and learn how to put up with each other."
via Eoin Kelleher @eoinyk
The Delhi Telegraph #Brexit partition π¬π§ via @PrivateEyeNews
Partition is the only solution says India
by Salmon Rushjob
It has taken a top indian civil servant, Sanjit Penpusha, to come up with the answer to what is to happen to Britain after it becomes independent.
Sent out from Delhi to assist the new UK government with how to solve problems posted by a population bitterly divided by the religious views, Mr Penpusha has decided that there is no prospect of the two main mutually hostile groups ever living peacefully again.
Penpusha has therefore drawn a line down the middle of the country and ruled that, post-independence, all the Leavers should live on one side in the north, and all the Remainers should live in the south.
This partition plan is controversial because, on each side of the line, there are substantial minorities who do not fit into this sweeping division of the country.
It is feared that the moment independence comes, at the stroke of midnight on March 19th 2019, huge numbers of devout Brexiteers and Remoaners will be forced to flee from their homes to seek refuge the other side of the line.
Said one elderly British observer, Mahatma Gandalf, "it's going to be total chaos. I forsee millions of refugees desperate to board trains in each direction, hoping to join fellow believers as the country is irrevocably split into two.
"The only hope, " he concluded, "is that the train service has now become so bad that no one will be able to go anywhere. So they'll just have to stay where they are and learn how to put up with each other."
via Eoin Kelleher @eoinyk