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Kembali

It was another typical day. Wake up at 1am. Do some prayers. Get my books and notes ready. Get something to eat, just to give some energy to my little precious Mr. Brainy. Then start the revision. Lalala.. Sleep at 7/8pm after my isya prayer. Oh, I'm still used to my Malaysian biological clock by the way. Can't help it. Huhu..

 

I was listening to nasyid.fm when this lyric suddenly caught my attention: "Akukan kembali pada-Mu Rabbi.. Mengadap-Mu Ya Rabbul Izzati" and at that time, I just realised how much I have missed my usrah, going to programmes, listening to ceramahs etc etc..

 

"Kadang-kadang terpikir gak, napelah na buat medic" I told my sis. I love medicine. But sometimes it's just too much. 3 years of medicine. 17 modules I have learned so far. And all those things that I learnt in school will be cramped into ONE PAPER. 3 years of learning for JUST ONE PAPER. (Fine, for the rest of my career, of course.) Mind you, it's not a module-based questions. They can ask you (I mean, ME) JUST ANYTHING! Ok.. *calm down, dina.. calm down..*

 

Anyway, life goes on. "yg penting, Allah loves you, your family all love you and support you.. stress and tears are part of med school.. insyaAllah Allah will give you strength to get through.." said my sis. Couldn't agree more. Thanx a lot sis!

 

It's not the end of everything isn't it? I'm just cuak, tepu, tak tahu nak baca apa sebab dah baca semua tp tak ingat. Sigh.. It's just Phase One exam, the one and only exam that determines whether you (I mean, ME) am qualified for the next clinical phase. Oh well.. Life goes on.. Sampai mati, tak tahu bila.

 

Wahai Tuhan yang Maha Pemurah

Terangilahku dengan Nur Iman-Mu

Hanya Engkau tempat aku berserah

Mohon maghfirah di dalam syahdu

 

Wahai Tuhan yang Maha Pengasih

Ampunilah segala dosaku

Laksana buih di laut memutih

Hanyut ditelan gelombang nafsu

 

Hari-hari yang telah aku lalui

Ingin kutinggalkan terus bersemadi

 

Ingin aku kembali kepada fitrah insani

Tak sanggupku jelajahi rimba duniawi

Bebaskanlah diriku dari dibelenggu

Dosa noda nafsu durjana

 

Terimalah taubatku Ya Allah

Pimpinlah daku ke jalan redha-Mu

Moga sinar-Mu terangi hidupku

Di dalam kegelapan

 

Akukan kembali pada-Mu Rabbi

Mengadap-Mu Ya Rabbul Izzati

Segala ketentuanku pasrahkan

Di hujung penghayatan

 

-Kembali by Far East

 

"Phase One exam is just another phase of life. It comes with the same amount of air you breath in and out, with the same dimentional space you fit in. It differs just a little bit by extra knowledge you have understood, remembered and memorised. Have been struggling and doing your best, it's your time now to let Him do the rest of the job. Usaha, Tawakkal & Doa, the combination therapy, with which you won't be worried too much. Life goes on, sis. Cheer up!"

 

Bak kata orang, terima kasih! Bak kata orang kampung saya, cheers mate!

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Uploaded on January 1, 2010
Taken on December 15, 2009