countblockula
02
Mild-mannered techie, Brian Bracket, was working in the computer lab late one evening, and his brain was about to crash. His department, for reasons unbeknownst to him, had been given a daunting government encryption viability assignment, and the deadline was tomorrow. Convinced he could succeed where his coworkers had failed, Brian remained after hours, tirelessly attempting to crack the code and show those DC eggheads they don’t know squat. And, he had almost done it, when all of a sudden his idiot friends showed up unexpectedly with some beers and a couple large cheeses. Startled, and having just initiated a variable vector algorithm wizard, Brian totally spilled his Pepsi all over the keyboard.
As fate would have it, that very soda can contained traces of a unusual metal which in ancient times had existed in the form of a very powerful amulet, known to legend as simply, "The Fury." As the story goes, a very powerful wizard had been up all night with his buddies, avoiding working on his junior thesis and instead turning farts into gold, when his mom woke up, got wicked mad, and made them all go home. The wizard thought this was really uncool, so, on the fly, he altered the spell they’d been using to instead turn his next pungent emanation into a metal deadbolt lock he could put on the basement door -- so his mom couldn’t just barge in whenever she felt like it.
But, things didn't turn out the way he had hoped. Instead, when all the smoke had cleared, he noticed an amulet lying upon the ground. He was kind of a dumb kid, so he just picked it up and put it on, without knowing what it would do to him. Instantly, he was transformed into a hulking beast, double his size and pretty freakin' strong. The anger he had been feeling deep in within gut had manifested itself into a mystical metallic object, capable of reflecting his emotional distress into a tangible alteration of his physical self. And, he was pretty freakin' strong. But, as we all know, moms don't put up with that kind of crap, so she smacked him upside the head, yanked the amulet from his neck and tossed it into the garbage.
Now, in the present day, during the worst thunderstorm of the year, somehow the combination of being rudely interrupted by his idiot friends, the fact he had just begun the algorithm wizard, and the presence of those minute traces of magical fart metal in his can, bestowed upon Brian Bracket the ability to turn into pretty freakin’ strong monster whenever he wants to. Sometimes, though, when he lets one rip, he starts to transform unexpectedly, but he’s cool with that now.
THE END
02
Mild-mannered techie, Brian Bracket, was working in the computer lab late one evening, and his brain was about to crash. His department, for reasons unbeknownst to him, had been given a daunting government encryption viability assignment, and the deadline was tomorrow. Convinced he could succeed where his coworkers had failed, Brian remained after hours, tirelessly attempting to crack the code and show those DC eggheads they don’t know squat. And, he had almost done it, when all of a sudden his idiot friends showed up unexpectedly with some beers and a couple large cheeses. Startled, and having just initiated a variable vector algorithm wizard, Brian totally spilled his Pepsi all over the keyboard.
As fate would have it, that very soda can contained traces of a unusual metal which in ancient times had existed in the form of a very powerful amulet, known to legend as simply, "The Fury." As the story goes, a very powerful wizard had been up all night with his buddies, avoiding working on his junior thesis and instead turning farts into gold, when his mom woke up, got wicked mad, and made them all go home. The wizard thought this was really uncool, so, on the fly, he altered the spell they’d been using to instead turn his next pungent emanation into a metal deadbolt lock he could put on the basement door -- so his mom couldn’t just barge in whenever she felt like it.
But, things didn't turn out the way he had hoped. Instead, when all the smoke had cleared, he noticed an amulet lying upon the ground. He was kind of a dumb kid, so he just picked it up and put it on, without knowing what it would do to him. Instantly, he was transformed into a hulking beast, double his size and pretty freakin' strong. The anger he had been feeling deep in within gut had manifested itself into a mystical metallic object, capable of reflecting his emotional distress into a tangible alteration of his physical self. And, he was pretty freakin' strong. But, as we all know, moms don't put up with that kind of crap, so she smacked him upside the head, yanked the amulet from his neck and tossed it into the garbage.
Now, in the present day, during the worst thunderstorm of the year, somehow the combination of being rudely interrupted by his idiot friends, the fact he had just begun the algorithm wizard, and the presence of those minute traces of magical fart metal in his can, bestowed upon Brian Bracket the ability to turn into pretty freakin’ strong monster whenever he wants to. Sometimes, though, when he lets one rip, he starts to transform unexpectedly, but he’s cool with that now.
THE END