Week 46
Olive met Santa on Saturday and we were lucky enough to share the experience with her grandparents. She was, in keeping with her personality, skeptical of the whole thing, though she did not cry. As we walked away, she did her typical crawl higher on my chest to get a better look at the man she was just sitting atop of. Those raised eyebrows kill me every time. Before Santa, she sat on Ryan's shoulders and watched a mini performance of the Nutcracker. She was mesmerized and sat still and watching for 20 solid minutes. She looked over at me at one point and their was literally drool coming from her mouth, she was so steady in her concentration on what was happening before her.
…
On the way to a playdate on Friday a friend texted me, "Have you heard about the school shooting?" I turned on CNN in the car and the awful details came flooding in. I cried, of course. My baby, my one-day-Kindergartner, was in the backseat. I thought about presents already wrapped under the tree, dresses hanging in a closet waiting for next summer, trips planned for when she's "a little bit older."
I thought about how, just that week, I'd made fun of people who say, "I can't remember life without my baby." I quipped back, "Oh, I remember that life. I can totally imagine what life would be like without her."
Listening to CNN, crying for those sweet babies, I realized that what I meant was I can remember life before Olive. But no, I can not imagine life without her. When we arrived at our friend's house, I took Olive out of her carseat and stood in that driveway for a long time just holding her close. Not since her early newborn days had she felt so precious, so fragile in my arms.
In the days that passed, I'd find myself exasperated by Olive's whining and I'd remind myself, those parents would give anything to listen to their child whine again. I'd like to say that the reminder would make me present and thankful but I believe in being honest, so I will not.
Olive is pressing on her boundaries and testing her autonomy. She's so mad at a body that is not as capable as her mind. She has two fangs (teeth 9 & 10) that are bulging painfully at the top of her gum line. I don't enjoy the days when she whines endlessly and nothing makes her happy. I get frustrated by her clinginess and dissatisfaction with a life she seemed previously pretty happy with.
But, oh am I grateful that I have been given the gift of more days with her.
Week 46
Olive met Santa on Saturday and we were lucky enough to share the experience with her grandparents. She was, in keeping with her personality, skeptical of the whole thing, though she did not cry. As we walked away, she did her typical crawl higher on my chest to get a better look at the man she was just sitting atop of. Those raised eyebrows kill me every time. Before Santa, she sat on Ryan's shoulders and watched a mini performance of the Nutcracker. She was mesmerized and sat still and watching for 20 solid minutes. She looked over at me at one point and their was literally drool coming from her mouth, she was so steady in her concentration on what was happening before her.
…
On the way to a playdate on Friday a friend texted me, "Have you heard about the school shooting?" I turned on CNN in the car and the awful details came flooding in. I cried, of course. My baby, my one-day-Kindergartner, was in the backseat. I thought about presents already wrapped under the tree, dresses hanging in a closet waiting for next summer, trips planned for when she's "a little bit older."
I thought about how, just that week, I'd made fun of people who say, "I can't remember life without my baby." I quipped back, "Oh, I remember that life. I can totally imagine what life would be like without her."
Listening to CNN, crying for those sweet babies, I realized that what I meant was I can remember life before Olive. But no, I can not imagine life without her. When we arrived at our friend's house, I took Olive out of her carseat and stood in that driveway for a long time just holding her close. Not since her early newborn days had she felt so precious, so fragile in my arms.
In the days that passed, I'd find myself exasperated by Olive's whining and I'd remind myself, those parents would give anything to listen to their child whine again. I'd like to say that the reminder would make me present and thankful but I believe in being honest, so I will not.
Olive is pressing on her boundaries and testing her autonomy. She's so mad at a body that is not as capable as her mind. She has two fangs (teeth 9 & 10) that are bulging painfully at the top of her gum line. I don't enjoy the days when she whines endlessly and nothing makes her happy. I get frustrated by her clinginess and dissatisfaction with a life she seemed previously pretty happy with.
But, oh am I grateful that I have been given the gift of more days with her.