20180214 1859 - Valentine's Day - Macaroni Grill - Clio - 57591894

Clio looking cute!

 

BACKSTORY: We had a gift card for Macaroni Grill (we usually have one every year, and have gone for over a decade). This year was the most god-awful experience of our lives! No wonder Macaroni Grill is going out of business. But we have to wonder if it was transgender & LGBT discrimination, because not only were we never treated like that at that same Macaroni Grill, but we saw the waiter treat others better.

 

I'm not that picky. I get a taco or two at Taco Bell almost every day I go out, and am very pleased with that experience. When I go out, I often go to buffets, because I don't mind what food I eat, as long as it's not completely messed up.

 

But taking my wife to Macaroni Grill on Valentine's Day was the absolute worst "romantic" restaurant trip of my entire life. I am frankly surprised at how much text I need to write just to explain everything that happened.

 

Note that the restaurant was NOT packed. We go there almost every Valentine's Day, for 10+ years. Last year it was a 45 minute wait and totally packed. This year it was a 5 minute wait, and there were empty tables in the restaurant. It was literally the least packed we've ever seen it on Valentine's Day. There are no "busy" excuses for this treatment

 

1) We didn't notice at the time, but going back: The first way we were treated differently was that the waiter didn't write his name on our placemat. Did he intend to give us bad service because we are visibly LGBT? Because he wrote it for the people next to us, on both sides. Just not for us. It seemed like he was so unwilling to even get near us, that he wouldn't approach us, write his name on the placemat, or visit our table -- ***even when visiting the one next to us repeatedly***, or give us good service.

2) Immediately he puts the olive oil and pepper on the saucer for the bread. This is a fun Macaroni Grill theatric that makes the customer feel good... Unless the saucer full of olive oil is merely pointing out how you have no bread for 20 minutes. Again, never in our life. Other people have bread. We don't.

Later, I explicitly ask for bread, because it's absolutely clear that it's NOT going to come, because this guy will serve the tables on both sides of us, but not us. It still doesn't come. Bread only finally arrives with our appetizer. Again: Never in our lives.

3) And then, guess what? The bread was too salty to eat! First time in 40 years that I have ever disliked restaurant bread. Later, when the waiter stopped coming to our table, we managed to ask *the cook* for more bread. It, too, was too salty to not eat. No amount of dipping it or mixing it with other ingredients made it edible. The bread I get from the dollar store is better. Why is Macaroni Grill so awful to us today?

4) The second thing the waiter actually does is ask us for a drink. Immediately. We don't know our drink order yet, but later, when we order everything at once, we do order ONE drink. But it doesn't come with the bread. It doesn't come with the appetizers. It doesn't even come with the entree! Later, while we are eating, the drink finally shows up. We had forgotten about it by that time. Who the hell serves drinks, appetizers, and an entree at the same time?

5) But at least we had water, right? Well, sort of. We asked for water with lemon. It took awhile -- an annoying amount of time if you have dysphagia -- but the finally water came. Most restaurants give you water without asking, or allow you access to a tap. We were left thirsty. So thirst. And when it finally came, NO LEMONS!

We asked for lemons. It took awhile, but finally he came back and said, "We're out of lemons, so I had to give you limes". I am unsure what to do, so I squeeze some of the lime juice in my water to try it out. It's awful. I can't drink it.

Meanwhile, I see lemons come out with water orders just 2 tables away. My drink (a mule) that comes later has a lemon in it--because the drink comes like that automatically. It is clearly our server who won't ask for stuff for us -- even while giving the same stuff to adjoining tables! My salmon that came with lemon on it! Why is this bigoted server telling us the restaurant doesn't have lemons? Macaroni Grill is most definitely NOT out of lemons. Why would he lie to us? There's a bar. Bars have lemon wedges for drinks. The restaurant is NOT out of lemon wedges.

But for the majority of the time I was there, I couldn't even sip my water, because it turns out lime water is awful. Who drinks that? Not me. I didn't know. I tried, and that was a mistake. And since our alcohol drink never came until the entree, I literally had nothing to drink that didn't taste awful. And getting water refill was nigh impossible. And of course no bread. Nothing enjoyable whatsoever - but the people 2 tables away got their water with lemon. EVERYONE who wasn't LGBT did.

6) Eventually,when the waiter disappeared, we actually had to go and ask THE COOK for lemons, and he brought them out and apologized. This was after the entree came. It's like the waiter was unwilling to do his job. Why is the cook bringing us our food and serving us? Where is our server? We were ALSO out of water at that point, and needed any kind of liquid to drink. I am prone to choking because I have dysphagia. Last time I had a choking episode, I had to grab the drink of a stranger off their table in an emergency. This is the kind of thing that happens when human beings are denied water, and have no way to get it.

7) We ordered the calamari appetizer. The menu says it comes with 2 sauces. A pepper sauce and a citrus aoli. We got the pepper sauce, but the other stuff? It was a red, thick mixture that was very obviously mostly spicy Sri Racha sauce. My girlfriend doesn't like spicy stuff as much as me. That's why we didn't order something spicy. That's why we use the menu to decide whatto order. But what good is the menu, if the items on it aren't what it says they are? We needed at least one non-spicy dipping sauce.

8) By this point, the waiter had disappeared. He did not come around. Most restaurants check up on you to see if you are okay. They often do it TOO much. This guy? Despite the fact that we very obviously were not getting what we wanted, and had to ask for very basic things like bread and water -- he still wouldn't show up. Twice in a row, after minutes of being gone, he came and SERVED THE TABLE NEXT TO US, BUT KEPT HIS BACK TO US, THEN DISAPPEARED to the back again without even giving us an opportunity for service. Every time this happened, we needed something, and couldn't get it.

9) The salmon finally came. It was not even brought by our server (named Labrim), it was brought by the cook! (Who we had to ask for water, lemons, and more bread. Most of the food brought to our table WAS NOT BROUGHT by our actual server!)

It was the absolute worst salmon I've ever eaten in my life. It was so burned that each and every bite was a chore to get down. I woke up at 4AM nauseated, which is an unusual thing for me. We even tried cutting up the salmon and putting it inside our shrimp alfredo noodles, to mask the burning taste. It was impossible to mask. We have now messed up: water, bread, lemons, calamari dipping sauce, and salmon. Incredible.

10) At this point, we're done with our food, and we just want the dessert cake & ice cream, and a check. But he's nowhere to be found. For a good 5 minutes, we're just sitting there, unhappy with the experience, wanting to at least have a good piece of cake and ice cream, and leave. But the pause here is one of the longest service pauses during this entire visit.

During this time, 2 tables down, another couple was extremely angry at Labrim's service, and got up to leave. So at least it wasn't JUST us having a bad time, even if they actually got lemons & drinks.Someone, either Labrim or a manager, intervened and convinced them to sit back down and have their meal.

The couple 1 table down? They ALSO were extremely unhappy with Labrim, and were complaining about the service a lot of the time. For example, they got the merchant receipt for their credit card, so there was no place for them to sign it, and they had to ask for the correct receipt. That's never happened in my life, but again, now at least THREE tables were having a bad time, so at least there was some incompetence mixed in with the malevolence. We just seemed to be getting the worst of it, and it felt like discrimination to be treated so differently the first year we were visibly LGBT.

11) It's finally time for dessert. Does he bring it? No! He brings us to go containers, and says, "You wanted the cheesecake, right?"

Literally, when we ordered the food, we gave him the complete order. I wrote it down on my placemat. I pointed at the words as I ordered them to him. He acted as if he was writing down the words I was saying and pointing at. His job is to take the order. He couldn't even do that! I never said cheesecake! WTF?! Not only was our dessert not here, but he didn't even know what we ordered! Just what was Labrim doing?!?!?!

12) So we tell him we wanted the chocolate cake & ice cream. It seems to take awhile, but it finally comes. HE THEN TAKES ALL OUR SILVERWARE! We manage to snag one fork, but how are we supposed to share this item between the two of us? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, LABRIM?

He comes back in a couple minutes to help the table next to us, but in typical fashion, keeps his back to us and doesn't offer any help. As he walks away, we have to raise our voice and ask for another fork. I don't think it ever came.

13) And the "cake" and "ice cream"? It's not a cake, it's some Costco store bought chocolate muffin, with a cup of chocolate drizzle next to it. And the "ice cream"? Literally one fork full of ice cream. Granted, it tasted good - but this is your "$45 Valentine's Day Special For Couples", so you are literally advertising and serving a valentine's day ice cream dessert to couples with ONE FORK that has ONE FORKFUL of ice cream. So yes. You found a way to make ice cream and cake disappointing, Macaroni Grill.

14) Labrim then asked us if the food was good, and we said, "No, it wasn't", and told him we didn't like the bread, water, salmon, or cake. He said he would get the manager to do something about it. Minutes later, a check came. No manager. No manager ever came. Just another lie.

15) Finally, it came time to pay. We don't trust him to ring up our money right, so we decide to use our $50 gift card, and pay the $5.14 balance in cash. I went off to change my $10 into two $5s, and my wife went off to change her $5 into five $1s. I approached the bartender, waited for eye contact, and asked, "Can I get two 5s for a 10?" He said, "Wait a minute", then "How are you?" {I'm sorry, do I need to have a conversation to ask for change? It seemed like he was chiding me for being short with him and not having a conversation. I'm not here to talk with you, guy. I'm here to pay you for your bad food}. The bartender then turned his back to me. He messed around with the register for an unacceptably long time, completely ignoring me. Obviously he decided NOT to make the change I needed made -- or even to tell me. This, too, is a treatment I've never experienced in my life. As I slowly moved away -- because I'm not going to sit there like an idiot holding a $10 bill out for minutes at a time -- I went to the hostess. She checks HER OWN POCKETS and somehow has two $5 bills, and makes change for me.

My wife fared no better. She asked someone for five $1s for her $5. Multiple people told her they couldn't do it. She was finally told "only the bartender" can do this. She goes to thebar. Nobody is there. She looks around. Nobody to be found. This restaurant is full of aholes who won't do their job.

Finally, someone goes into the bar and starts doing stuff. She asks them if they can make change. "I'm not the bartender", the person tending the bar said, refusing to make her change. WHAT IS THIS PLACE?

We almost left the restaurant with a $5 shortchanging -- but then Carolyn ran into a random employee, who, also, had to get the money out of his personal money from his own pocket.

 

IN SUMMARY: You messed up in about 15 different ways, messing up: water, lemon, salmon, dipping sauce, cake, ice cream, properly keeping our order, making change... even the unhappiness of the people around us was a bring-down. This restaurant is not being managed properly, and Labrim is the 2nd worst server I've had in my entire lifetime.

 

I wish I'd had change, because the 85 cent tip Labrim gotwas an *incredible* overtip. It should have been a single penny. Frankly, I should be filing a credit card dispute for the cost of this meal... but we paid with a pre-paid gift card bought 2 years ago, so we take solace in knowing that no 2018 income went to Macaroni Grill for this awful 2018 visit.

 

Our annual almost-20-year tradition [based on our parents giving us gift cards every Christmas] is now over. We will not be returning to Macaroni Grill. Not on Valentine's Day. Not ever. The gift cards are apparently valid at several other restaurants... so we'll be going to one of those, from now on.

 

And I can't help but think some of this is because I am visibly transgender, because of the way he would repeatedly approach the table next to us (a straight couple), but not us. I was not visibly transgender a year ago, and was not treated like this during previous visits to Macaroni Grill. It just seems like that was a component, because we definitely got it the worst of everyone there.

 

Transition Progress at this point: On hormones since 8/1 (6 months); injections (9) since 12/22 (1 month). E up to an astounding 800! Full-time female since 9/15 (5 months). Publicly out as trans since 10/11 (4 months). Legally female since 12/21 (1.5 months). Plastic surgery consults beginning. Have seen endo/primary therapist 5X, and secondary therapists 9X. Weight down to 137lbs (60 down from 197). Hair removal includes 30 electrolysis treatments totaling 23.5 hours; 28 laser hair removal sessions (47 area treatments: 15/14/13/11/8 mouth/goatee/face/neck/armpits, 7 legs/chest, 5 Brazilian/ear); and bi-weekly at-home IPL on arms since 6/17 (8 months). Latisse for eyelash lengthening since 4/17 (10 months). 2 dental implants. Pierced ears. Dyed/layered hair (no haircuts for 3yrs--since 1/2015). Twice daily hydroquinone treatment on leg hyperpigmentation since 2/14 (today). Female wardrobe replacement was up to 623 items. Total expenditures over $15,000. Total transition expenditures over $16,000 at this point.

 

Clio.

sitting, smiling.

 

Macaroni Grill, restaurant, Springfield, Virginia.

 

February 14, 2018.

 

 

... Read my blog at clintjcl at wordpress dot com

 

Done