conditions/day ninety-eight

whenever you don't address something and push it to the side, you're hardening your heart. eventually, you're either going to push it so far out of your mind that it never bothers you again and you just become numb to what's going on... or you're going to come to a place of deep awakening.

 

maybe you're numbing yourself out of fear. out of the fear of what you're going to have to face if you came to the cold, hard truth.

in some cases, you don't even see what's going on as a problem anymore. you don't realize that what you're doing and how you're acting is wrong and harmful to both yourself and others.

 

coming to the realization of something that you've been hiding for so long can be devastating, but when you have a God that's big enough to take that heart and shape it out of love... there is nothing to worry about. it's like falling face down in shame and having a person pick you up and telling you that you're going to be okay and not just leaving it at that, but telling you how to be okay. telling you the secret to life and happiness.

 

God wants you at that place, the place where you are absolutely desperate for Him. we need Him to soften our hearts, so they don't grow cold. we need Him in every step and every decision we make.

 

so stop being afraid of what's to come and let Him deal with it. stop clenching your heart and let go. you don't have control.

Done