elizabeth_dh
Divinity.
My world is so upside down. Sometimes I catch myself truly wishing I could fast forward a year from now. I get so anxious, what will I be doing today a year from now? . . .But I shouldn't, I should be reveling in what is life right now, today. Something's been bothering me today and yesterday. I recently heard about a teen death of someone I hardly even knew except went to the same school with. .I don't even know how or what happened. But it's scary. I'm scared. And it's not like we as a society aren't used to our mortality being shoved in our own faces, but when it's someone your own age, who's only in high school, it's petrifying. Because it could happen to any of us, at any second. Some before they even have a chance to leave anything behind. And it's pure arrogance to think that it couldn't happen to you. . .why not? Are you or I so divine to this place? Does everything really happen for a reason? That's not fair. That's almost heartless to compare anothers life to your own and render it not "useful" or not "destined" to be here.
...Or is that the only explanation keeping us sane?
That we should put it in our minds so to keep the fear away. . .Well I won't do that.
Because I see that fear as a good thing. A constant reminder that I can't just sit down
and waste time day by day. That I will make something of myself in this world and that
I will make a real CHANGE in this world. That I will live each day like it is my last. .I don't
have a death wish, nor am I a negative person. I actually want to live until 110! And I
plan on that! I'm not advocating recklessness, just for that fire in our hearts to keep
burning. . .Isn't it ironic that for most humans, we work, fight, and LIVE harder when
we think our existence is in jeopardy? When it's for the sake of our survival? I'll never
live in fear because I do believe in some higher place out there, and I hope to spend it
with those dearest to my heart one day. And if there's one thing I have to say or get off my chest here or some point I truly want to make right now this second is,
I am so grateful, for my life.
. . .And I will never take that or my health or the one's I love existence and health for granted. I will MAKE a reason, a PURPOSE for this life, and it will be AMAZING. In honor of those who never had a chance. Because any of those people could have been me or someone I loved. Last year I had a near death experience a few days after my birthday, my mom was there, too. And that night as I walked out without more than a few scratch & bruises I promised then that I would LIVE FREE. And experience all this life has to offer. And never give up the fight, for survival, for happiness, and the love I have for this world. That I would fulfill my hopes and dreams and be fearless. Because when it's our time, lights will guide us home.
...I love you Adam, when you read this.<3
Days 72 through 78; ONE LIFE.
Divinity.
My world is so upside down. Sometimes I catch myself truly wishing I could fast forward a year from now. I get so anxious, what will I be doing today a year from now? . . .But I shouldn't, I should be reveling in what is life right now, today. Something's been bothering me today and yesterday. I recently heard about a teen death of someone I hardly even knew except went to the same school with. .I don't even know how or what happened. But it's scary. I'm scared. And it's not like we as a society aren't used to our mortality being shoved in our own faces, but when it's someone your own age, who's only in high school, it's petrifying. Because it could happen to any of us, at any second. Some before they even have a chance to leave anything behind. And it's pure arrogance to think that it couldn't happen to you. . .why not? Are you or I so divine to this place? Does everything really happen for a reason? That's not fair. That's almost heartless to compare anothers life to your own and render it not "useful" or not "destined" to be here.
...Or is that the only explanation keeping us sane?
That we should put it in our minds so to keep the fear away. . .Well I won't do that.
Because I see that fear as a good thing. A constant reminder that I can't just sit down
and waste time day by day. That I will make something of myself in this world and that
I will make a real CHANGE in this world. That I will live each day like it is my last. .I don't
have a death wish, nor am I a negative person. I actually want to live until 110! And I
plan on that! I'm not advocating recklessness, just for that fire in our hearts to keep
burning. . .Isn't it ironic that for most humans, we work, fight, and LIVE harder when
we think our existence is in jeopardy? When it's for the sake of our survival? I'll never
live in fear because I do believe in some higher place out there, and I hope to spend it
with those dearest to my heart one day. And if there's one thing I have to say or get off my chest here or some point I truly want to make right now this second is,
I am so grateful, for my life.
. . .And I will never take that or my health or the one's I love existence and health for granted. I will MAKE a reason, a PURPOSE for this life, and it will be AMAZING. In honor of those who never had a chance. Because any of those people could have been me or someone I loved. Last year I had a near death experience a few days after my birthday, my mom was there, too. And that night as I walked out without more than a few scratch & bruises I promised then that I would LIVE FREE. And experience all this life has to offer. And never give up the fight, for survival, for happiness, and the love I have for this world. That I would fulfill my hopes and dreams and be fearless. Because when it's our time, lights will guide us home.
...I love you Adam, when you read this.<3
Days 72 through 78; ONE LIFE.