Praise and Blame, the Fame/Shame Game
Life's muleskinners work us two ways--with the carrot and with the stick. It's wonderful to win praise and honors, but the same hands that pat you on the back will slap you on the butt when you're not doing what they want you to do.
"A gold medal is a nice thing - but if you're not enough without it, you'll never be enough with it,"--"Cool Runnings".
This came up in a recent conversation with a friend, about how we get manipulated by praise and blame, the Fame/Shame game.
It took me back, to years ago in the Army. After a long, tough day, we were told to clean our weapons and then check them in with the Armory (the gun locker). Our lieutenant was sitting inside, inspecting each rifle, and then scolding each soldier, chastising us for the filthy firing chambers, the powder still in the barrel, the mud on the swivels and straps.
Of course, they were as clean as they always were--it wasn't about cleaning the rifles, it was about lording his power over us, proving to us once again how unworthy we were, extending our misery a few hours longer--to make us into something he wanted (better soldiers I suspect he thought).
It was obvious he was going to make this a long and miserable evening, so I shrugged to myself and realized that while I may be stuck in the barracks, he was stuck in the quartermaster's office, which was no more comfortable than my spot. So I sat back, and started reading my mail. My platoon buddies were horrified, "Davis, ya gotta clean your gun!" Yeh. Yeh. Right.
After a few hours, the lieutenant tired, and the rifles began to meet his standards. I brought mine in (in the same condition as when he'd rejected it before), and he smugly checked it out, "good job, Davis--I knew you had it in you. It should look like this all the time!" The irony, of course, was that it always did.
"Great tranquility of heart is his who cares for neither praise nor blame." ~Thomas à Kempis
We wouldn't care so much what people thought of us, if we realized how seldom we ever cross their minds. Give up trying to campaign for election in the eyes of others, and suddenly you may find yourself King. And pay no attention to what others say, monuments are never erected to the critics.
"It's all right now, I've learned my lesson well. You see you can't please everyone, so ya gotta please yourself." Rick Nelson. Garden Party
Praise and Blame, the Fame/Shame Game
Life's muleskinners work us two ways--with the carrot and with the stick. It's wonderful to win praise and honors, but the same hands that pat you on the back will slap you on the butt when you're not doing what they want you to do.
"A gold medal is a nice thing - but if you're not enough without it, you'll never be enough with it,"--"Cool Runnings".
This came up in a recent conversation with a friend, about how we get manipulated by praise and blame, the Fame/Shame game.
It took me back, to years ago in the Army. After a long, tough day, we were told to clean our weapons and then check them in with the Armory (the gun locker). Our lieutenant was sitting inside, inspecting each rifle, and then scolding each soldier, chastising us for the filthy firing chambers, the powder still in the barrel, the mud on the swivels and straps.
Of course, they were as clean as they always were--it wasn't about cleaning the rifles, it was about lording his power over us, proving to us once again how unworthy we were, extending our misery a few hours longer--to make us into something he wanted (better soldiers I suspect he thought).
It was obvious he was going to make this a long and miserable evening, so I shrugged to myself and realized that while I may be stuck in the barracks, he was stuck in the quartermaster's office, which was no more comfortable than my spot. So I sat back, and started reading my mail. My platoon buddies were horrified, "Davis, ya gotta clean your gun!" Yeh. Yeh. Right.
After a few hours, the lieutenant tired, and the rifles began to meet his standards. I brought mine in (in the same condition as when he'd rejected it before), and he smugly checked it out, "good job, Davis--I knew you had it in you. It should look like this all the time!" The irony, of course, was that it always did.
"Great tranquility of heart is his who cares for neither praise nor blame." ~Thomas à Kempis
We wouldn't care so much what people thought of us, if we realized how seldom we ever cross their minds. Give up trying to campaign for election in the eyes of others, and suddenly you may find yourself King. And pay no attention to what others say, monuments are never erected to the critics.
"It's all right now, I've learned my lesson well. You see you can't please everyone, so ya gotta please yourself." Rick Nelson. Garden Party