Decepticreep
1987: Vintage Cobras
The 1987 Cobras are a real bunch of misfits!
As a kid, I thought they were really scraping the bottom of the barrel for ideas with this bunch of guys!
I mean, look at them! You've got a pirate, a fortune teller, a boxer, a falconer (!?) and a guy who is a crocodile handler! It's like the Village People exploded and a new universe of Village People formed in the vacuum to replace them.
Then there is the battle armored Cobra Commander, which has always seemed a little too much like a Darth Vader knock off to me (due to the shape of his helmet), although the idea of the enemy leader wearing state of the art armor makes perfect sense to me. I must say I was suprised to see a new Cobra Commander figure a year after he was deposed as Cobra leader and the same year he was (hilariously) turned into a snake in the cartoon (" I wassss once a man... a maaaaaan!").
Of these characters, the only ones I thought didn't totally suck as a kid was Zanzibar, but that is because he has a cool name (it's an island off the coast of Africa if you didn't know) and is a Dreadnok, upholding their proud 'nok tradition of wearing belly shirts - REPRESENT!
I liked the idea of Big Boa, it makes sense that Cobra would have some sort of a drill sergeant type responsible for whipping recruits into shape, but I thought the name was a little silly, and I didn't like his design (what is with that helmet?). Ditto for Croc Master, I thought he kinda looked cool, but did we really need an action figure of the dude who stocks Cobra Island with pits of crocs? I thought he was the GI Joe equivalent of the Rancor Keeeper figure, nice to have, but hardly very necessary or interesting.
Then there is Crystal Ball and Raptor.
Don't know which one I hated more as a kid. Probably Raptor, because he seems so silly. A falconer may've almost made sense in the middle ages when it was a popular sport amongst knights, but nowadays - no, sorry completely silly. Especially since Cobra has a serpentine theme going on and birds of prey are natural predators of snakes so this seems an odd choice for a Cobra character. Even in the comics he was often mocked by other characters. His backstory actually did make him seem sort of plausible, his real specialty was shifty accounting if I recall correctly! He actually is a pretty cool looking figure, especially for the era he came out in. I do find it odd that this year the Cobras got a falconer, and the Joes got a guy named "Falcon". Somebody clearly had falcons on the brain! Raptor is an awesome name for a character, by the way. Rarely has such an awesome name been given to such an undeserving character!
Crystal Ball is another oddball. His filecard mentions him using hypnosis to interrogate prisoners, but Dr. Mindbender who came out just the year prior was listed as being Cobra's chief interrogator, so this seemed like a weird overlap - why did they need 2 interrogators? The whole angle with having psychic powers also seemed too fantasy based for my liking. One of the persistent legends about this character that I have always wondered if has ever been confirmed is that he was created by Stephen King, or maybe it was his son? It might not be as kooky as it sounds. I read a book about King in the 80's that said he was a GI Joe fan and had a few figures posed around his word processor. He has also made a few scattered references to specific GI Joe characters or obvious anaologues of them in a few of his novels. We also know he has a fascination with characters with psi powers (Carrie, the Shining, Firestarter, the Dead Zone, yadda yadda). Is it any coincidence that Crystal Ball's card artwork looks just like a young Vincent Price? Anyhoo, C.B. was such a goofy character that Larry Hama wouldn't touch him with a 10-foot pole. His sole appearance in the classic Marvel comics comes in an issue of Special Missions not written by Hama. I must say though that the character has actually been used to very good and suprisingly spooky and effective use in the more recent comic book series by both Devil's Due and IDW.
The TechnoViper is a sharp looking figure with a great miltiary specialty. I wish I had 10 of them! As a kid though, I think the purple in their uniforms turned me off, but it seems positively subdued compared to what we were to get in the 90's, and as an adult troubles me not in the least.
As much as I hated most of the '87 Cobras, I love them now as can be evidenced by the fact that I basically own all of them except for a few of the vehicle drivers from this year and of course, Cobra-La. In my doddering old age of 39 I can finally appreciate these guys for their campy coolness.
But what is up with those airhoses? Cobra Commander, Big Boa, and Croc Master (mine is sadly missing) all have prominent air hoses as part of their masks! it makes sense for CC, whose costume is supposed to enable him to breath in harsh environments, and Croc Master , who spends a lot of time in the water - but why Big Boa - so his visor doesn't fog up?
Also notice how much more buff and ripped the guys are this year, even the dorky accountant who likes to dress up like Big Bird has a six pack that would make Ahnold green with envy!
1987 was truly the pinnacle of Cobra weirdness
1987: Vintage Cobras
The 1987 Cobras are a real bunch of misfits!
As a kid, I thought they were really scraping the bottom of the barrel for ideas with this bunch of guys!
I mean, look at them! You've got a pirate, a fortune teller, a boxer, a falconer (!?) and a guy who is a crocodile handler! It's like the Village People exploded and a new universe of Village People formed in the vacuum to replace them.
Then there is the battle armored Cobra Commander, which has always seemed a little too much like a Darth Vader knock off to me (due to the shape of his helmet), although the idea of the enemy leader wearing state of the art armor makes perfect sense to me. I must say I was suprised to see a new Cobra Commander figure a year after he was deposed as Cobra leader and the same year he was (hilariously) turned into a snake in the cartoon (" I wassss once a man... a maaaaaan!").
Of these characters, the only ones I thought didn't totally suck as a kid was Zanzibar, but that is because he has a cool name (it's an island off the coast of Africa if you didn't know) and is a Dreadnok, upholding their proud 'nok tradition of wearing belly shirts - REPRESENT!
I liked the idea of Big Boa, it makes sense that Cobra would have some sort of a drill sergeant type responsible for whipping recruits into shape, but I thought the name was a little silly, and I didn't like his design (what is with that helmet?). Ditto for Croc Master, I thought he kinda looked cool, but did we really need an action figure of the dude who stocks Cobra Island with pits of crocs? I thought he was the GI Joe equivalent of the Rancor Keeeper figure, nice to have, but hardly very necessary or interesting.
Then there is Crystal Ball and Raptor.
Don't know which one I hated more as a kid. Probably Raptor, because he seems so silly. A falconer may've almost made sense in the middle ages when it was a popular sport amongst knights, but nowadays - no, sorry completely silly. Especially since Cobra has a serpentine theme going on and birds of prey are natural predators of snakes so this seems an odd choice for a Cobra character. Even in the comics he was often mocked by other characters. His backstory actually did make him seem sort of plausible, his real specialty was shifty accounting if I recall correctly! He actually is a pretty cool looking figure, especially for the era he came out in. I do find it odd that this year the Cobras got a falconer, and the Joes got a guy named "Falcon". Somebody clearly had falcons on the brain! Raptor is an awesome name for a character, by the way. Rarely has such an awesome name been given to such an undeserving character!
Crystal Ball is another oddball. His filecard mentions him using hypnosis to interrogate prisoners, but Dr. Mindbender who came out just the year prior was listed as being Cobra's chief interrogator, so this seemed like a weird overlap - why did they need 2 interrogators? The whole angle with having psychic powers also seemed too fantasy based for my liking. One of the persistent legends about this character that I have always wondered if has ever been confirmed is that he was created by Stephen King, or maybe it was his son? It might not be as kooky as it sounds. I read a book about King in the 80's that said he was a GI Joe fan and had a few figures posed around his word processor. He has also made a few scattered references to specific GI Joe characters or obvious anaologues of them in a few of his novels. We also know he has a fascination with characters with psi powers (Carrie, the Shining, Firestarter, the Dead Zone, yadda yadda). Is it any coincidence that Crystal Ball's card artwork looks just like a young Vincent Price? Anyhoo, C.B. was such a goofy character that Larry Hama wouldn't touch him with a 10-foot pole. His sole appearance in the classic Marvel comics comes in an issue of Special Missions not written by Hama. I must say though that the character has actually been used to very good and suprisingly spooky and effective use in the more recent comic book series by both Devil's Due and IDW.
The TechnoViper is a sharp looking figure with a great miltiary specialty. I wish I had 10 of them! As a kid though, I think the purple in their uniforms turned me off, but it seems positively subdued compared to what we were to get in the 90's, and as an adult troubles me not in the least.
As much as I hated most of the '87 Cobras, I love them now as can be evidenced by the fact that I basically own all of them except for a few of the vehicle drivers from this year and of course, Cobra-La. In my doddering old age of 39 I can finally appreciate these guys for their campy coolness.
But what is up with those airhoses? Cobra Commander, Big Boa, and Croc Master (mine is sadly missing) all have prominent air hoses as part of their masks! it makes sense for CC, whose costume is supposed to enable him to breath in harsh environments, and Croc Master , who spends a lot of time in the water - but why Big Boa - so his visor doesn't fog up?
Also notice how much more buff and ripped the guys are this year, even the dorky accountant who likes to dress up like Big Bird has a six pack that would make Ahnold green with envy!
1987 was truly the pinnacle of Cobra weirdness