Louise Spence
107.365
Preconcieved notions; I'm so sick of people thinking they know who I am. I assure you, they don't. I've sold my soul to very, very few people in this world. They're the only ones who know everything about me (or almost) and therefore, one would assume, the only ones with the right to judge. And yet, there are hundreds of people, people you pass in the street every day, people you work with and casually recognise, and even people who know you as friends, who think they know who you are. They think they understand you, have the right to make decisions for you, can tell you how you're feeling, but they're wrong. I'm sick of being 'that girl'. I'm sick of being someone with a legacy, the girl who___, the one who always ___, isn't she the one who ____? How do you know me? You don't.
Someone told me that they think I'm much more confident than I seem. Than I seem? Do you think I'm not confident? I guess that yeah, in reality, I do tend to act quite coy, and I'm occasionally afraid, but I'll talk to anyone who I believe wants to talk to me, I like being close to people and I like speaking out, I'm not afraid to be wrong. Body image wise, I'm not, nor will I ever be, perfect, and yet I can live with who I am. It doesn't make me unhappy, because there are people around me who accept me for who I am.
At a party, thursday night, a girl I've never properly spoke to stood with me, and she chatted to me. 'I've never been kissed properly', she told me. 'I've just been called frigid, and it hurt.' I know that I barely knew her, but this hit me. "Frigid; without warmth or feeling." How dare they judge this girl? Assume she didn't want to be kissed, or wasn't willing to, or wasn't necessarily any good at it, when they'd never given her ample chance? Unless they'd tried to kiss her (which they hadn't) how could they say such a thing? This girl is beautiful; petite and sweet, friendly and charming, and this guy had ruined her night because he'd judged her. I told her he wasn't worth bothering over, that she'd be the one who'd end up with the happy, trusting relationship and she'd be the one who ended up happy, but I knew how she felt. I've been there. I've been called it to, and to what purpose? The guys that called me it weren't ever worth crying over, they called me allsorts and generally tried to make me unhappy. But not one of them had ever tried being close to me, and yet they thought they had the right to come to such assumptions. I'm not. It's such a hideous belief. I hope karma gets people like them, since they deserve it.
/rant over. It's just so unnessecary.
Today, I was supposed to revise. Instead, I biked a few villages away and sat on a park bench eating ice cream and reading a magazine. Later, I met Ed and we wandered round the local villages taking pictures.
Sorry. I created a tumblr, if you value my sanity you'll follow me, please? :)
107.365
Preconcieved notions; I'm so sick of people thinking they know who I am. I assure you, they don't. I've sold my soul to very, very few people in this world. They're the only ones who know everything about me (or almost) and therefore, one would assume, the only ones with the right to judge. And yet, there are hundreds of people, people you pass in the street every day, people you work with and casually recognise, and even people who know you as friends, who think they know who you are. They think they understand you, have the right to make decisions for you, can tell you how you're feeling, but they're wrong. I'm sick of being 'that girl'. I'm sick of being someone with a legacy, the girl who___, the one who always ___, isn't she the one who ____? How do you know me? You don't.
Someone told me that they think I'm much more confident than I seem. Than I seem? Do you think I'm not confident? I guess that yeah, in reality, I do tend to act quite coy, and I'm occasionally afraid, but I'll talk to anyone who I believe wants to talk to me, I like being close to people and I like speaking out, I'm not afraid to be wrong. Body image wise, I'm not, nor will I ever be, perfect, and yet I can live with who I am. It doesn't make me unhappy, because there are people around me who accept me for who I am.
At a party, thursday night, a girl I've never properly spoke to stood with me, and she chatted to me. 'I've never been kissed properly', she told me. 'I've just been called frigid, and it hurt.' I know that I barely knew her, but this hit me. "Frigid; without warmth or feeling." How dare they judge this girl? Assume she didn't want to be kissed, or wasn't willing to, or wasn't necessarily any good at it, when they'd never given her ample chance? Unless they'd tried to kiss her (which they hadn't) how could they say such a thing? This girl is beautiful; petite and sweet, friendly and charming, and this guy had ruined her night because he'd judged her. I told her he wasn't worth bothering over, that she'd be the one who'd end up with the happy, trusting relationship and she'd be the one who ended up happy, but I knew how she felt. I've been there. I've been called it to, and to what purpose? The guys that called me it weren't ever worth crying over, they called me allsorts and generally tried to make me unhappy. But not one of them had ever tried being close to me, and yet they thought they had the right to come to such assumptions. I'm not. It's such a hideous belief. I hope karma gets people like them, since they deserve it.
/rant over. It's just so unnessecary.
Today, I was supposed to revise. Instead, I biked a few villages away and sat on a park bench eating ice cream and reading a magazine. Later, I met Ed and we wandered round the local villages taking pictures.
Sorry. I created a tumblr, if you value my sanity you'll follow me, please? :)