Rachel Baran
Self-sabotage
34/52
Heyo how ye been yall?
So yo this is sort of a massively personal thing but also an idea that applies on a bigger scale as well I think; either way if it helps even one person it'll be worth the whole lot of ye knowing I sleep with socks on my hands lol
So for about eight years now I've basically been scratching my own face & shoulder & arm skin until it bled & came off, which sounds insane I'm totally aware (and feels totally insane believe me). And it may sound dumb but until about a week ago I had no idea that it was an actual condition with an actual name that other people had (it's technical name is Excoriation disorder or Dermatillomania; yall can google it). For years I thought waking up every day to a face like a meth addict's was my own fault even though I knew 99% of the time I couldn't control it or didn't even realize I was scratching, it's straight up Black Swan bullshit honest to god. Anyhow if any of you guys think you may have anything similar I STRONGLY urge you to look it up/see a doctor/psychologist/dermatologist etc. It's only been a week of not feeling psycho and my skin looks almost like actual skin again (I mean I have to wear socks on my hands at night & while driving & reading and whatever which obviously doesn't make me feel completely sane but it's way way way better than the alternative). Even though it's not a super uncommon disorder it isn't very well known, so any light I can shed on it I thought might be helpful you know.
Idk. I've just realized that we tend to force a lot of things that don't need forcing and end up sabotaging ourselves & ruining things that might've worked out if we just let life happen, does that make any sense? Like, our skin is always working to heal itself, but when I scratch I interfere in that and so it never heals. I am a big believer in working as hard as you can to make what you want a reality, but I think there are some things that tend to work themselves out better you feel. Just go w ur gut yall I believe in u.
tgif HAPPY FRIDAY <3
Self-sabotage
34/52
Heyo how ye been yall?
So yo this is sort of a massively personal thing but also an idea that applies on a bigger scale as well I think; either way if it helps even one person it'll be worth the whole lot of ye knowing I sleep with socks on my hands lol
So for about eight years now I've basically been scratching my own face & shoulder & arm skin until it bled & came off, which sounds insane I'm totally aware (and feels totally insane believe me). And it may sound dumb but until about a week ago I had no idea that it was an actual condition with an actual name that other people had (it's technical name is Excoriation disorder or Dermatillomania; yall can google it). For years I thought waking up every day to a face like a meth addict's was my own fault even though I knew 99% of the time I couldn't control it or didn't even realize I was scratching, it's straight up Black Swan bullshit honest to god. Anyhow if any of you guys think you may have anything similar I STRONGLY urge you to look it up/see a doctor/psychologist/dermatologist etc. It's only been a week of not feeling psycho and my skin looks almost like actual skin again (I mean I have to wear socks on my hands at night & while driving & reading and whatever which obviously doesn't make me feel completely sane but it's way way way better than the alternative). Even though it's not a super uncommon disorder it isn't very well known, so any light I can shed on it I thought might be helpful you know.
Idk. I've just realized that we tend to force a lot of things that don't need forcing and end up sabotaging ourselves & ruining things that might've worked out if we just let life happen, does that make any sense? Like, our skin is always working to heal itself, but when I scratch I interfere in that and so it never heals. I am a big believer in working as hard as you can to make what you want a reality, but I think there are some things that tend to work themselves out better you feel. Just go w ur gut yall I believe in u.
tgif HAPPY FRIDAY <3