Mutual Rights - Good Companionship - III

One day, the Prophet told’Aa‘ishah the lengthy Hadeeth of Umm Zar‘,

which was narrated by Muslim and was explained by some scholars in

volumes due to its enormous pearls of wisdom and meanings. After the

Prophet told’Aa‘ishah how Abu Zar‘ treated his wife Umm Zar‘, the

Prophet said: “I am to you likeAbu Zar‘ to Umm Zar‘.” He meant by this

that he was perfectin good companionship and intimacy, just like Abu

Zar‘ was with Umm Zar‘.

In happy and cheerful moments, the Prophet brought happiness and cheer

to his family. It was authentically narrated that on the day of ‘Eed

the Abyssinian boys arrived and played with spears in the mosque. Just

look at the perfect Sharee‘ah of Islam and its sublime mission! On

that day of’Eed which is characterized by happiness, the souls need a

type of peace and affinity to remove the state of apathy and

weariness. On that day, the Abyssinians entered the mosque of the

Prophet and paraded with their spears. Just look where the parade was

held; it was held in the second most sacred House of Allaah, the

Mosque of the Prophet !

The mosque was taken as a placewhere people played with spears on the

day of ’Eed because it was a merry occasion. Islam is a religion of

perfection that gives everything its due right and estimation.’

Aa‘ishah wantedto feel happy on that day. She wanted to watch the

Ethiopians parading with their spears. She asked the Prophet to let

her see the parade, so how did the Prophet reply to her? Did he tell

her that she was immature or that she was wasting her time? Did he

start reminding her that Paradise and Hell were approaching? No. The

Prophet stood up on his noble feet to allow her to watch the

Ethiopians, not for the purpose ofwatching for its own sake, but

because he knew that this standing would please Allaah TheAlmighty.

The Prophet who was the cream and most perfect of creation, kept

standing to please Allaah without the least feeling of blemish or

belittlement, because he felt that he was bringing affection, love and

happiness to his family and translating his true love and perfect

marriage by his standing. For that reason, the Prophet was the best

husband to his wife,and his behavior represents the perfect and best

guidance for theMuslim who wants to live equitably with his wife.

His wife would prepare his food and drink, and when he gathered with

his family, belovedpersons and wife under one roof,he would not say

unpleasant words to her. If he found the food delicious, he would

praise and appreciate it and thank the one who prepared it after

thanking Allaah The Almighty. If he found fault with it, he would not

dispraise or criticize it,nor would he dispraise the one who cooked

it.

Living equitably requires sacrifice,true love and mutual emotions that

indicate perfection in marriage and intimacy. Therefore, the guidance

of the Prophet is the most perfect guidance.

It was authentically narrated that’Aa‘ishah said that she wouldbring

broth or milk to the Prophet and though he was the one who requested

it, he would insist that she drink before him. ’Aa‘ishah was a noble

woman and daughter of a noble man, so she did not accept drinking

before the Messenger of Allaah and preserved his right. When she gave

him the drink, he would ask her to drink first, and when she

refused,he would insist by taking an oath that she would drink first.

As a result, she would take the container and drink and after that the

Prophet would put his mouth in the same spot that her mouth had been.

The Prophet did not do so without reason;rather, he wanted to let her

know her value and to show her his love and affection. That is because

just as the Prophet sought closeness to his Lord through prostration

and bowing to Him, he also sought closeness to Him through comforting

his wife's heart, bringing her happiness and making her cheerful. The

Prophet sought closeness to Allaah byteaching the Ummah (Muslim

nation) perfect manners and the best ways of treating families and

wives.

These are very important mattersthat a Muslim should pay attention to.

Sometimes the wife needs to feel happy in her home, so if the Muslim

wants to make her so he should adopt the guidance of the Prophet .

Sometimes she wants to feel happy outside the house, so we find that

the Prophet would go out with his wife to Qubaa‘ and race her. The

Prophet andhis wife started running, and she would beat him. Later,

when she gained weight, the Prophet raced her again and this time he

beat her, saying: “Tit for tat.” All these things represent love and

kind treatment in lifestyle.

Whenever man looks at, reflects upon or studies well the guidance of

the Prophet he will surely find good companionship in its perfect

manner and best form, since he was the most perfect man in living

equitably with his family. Muslim homes will never be happy until

these warm emotions are observed. Look at the man who treats his wife

withthese true feelings and emotions and how Allaah blesses his

familyand wife. He surely leads a happy and serene life, since whoever

fears Allaah, carries out His orders and lives in kindness with his

wife, Allaah rewards him by granting them a happy life and good

companionship. The same thing applies to the woman who fears Allaah

and lives in kindness with her husband. They will only hear and see

what makes them happy. Therefore, a Muslim should abide by the Quran

and the Sunnah of the Prophet in fulfilling this great duty.

There is another very important point that we should consider, namely,

the lack of reward for not reciprocating good companionship. In other

words, it is very difficult for the husband to show affection, mercy

and kindness to his wife while the wife in return shows misbehavior,

harm, contempt or disobedience. Similarly, it is very difficult for

the wife to show warm emotions, kind feelings and good manners to her

husband, while he in return treats her with painful, harsh andhurtful

sentiments that devastateher. So, what should Muslim spouses do?

Some scholars have said that the greatest and most perfect reward for

good companionship takes place when the husband who observes good

companionship with his wife is mistreated, or when the wife who

observes good companionship with her husbandis mistreated. This is the

truest form of good companionship. One day, a man said, “O Messenger

of Allaah, I maintain kinship ties with my relatives, butthey sever

them; I give them, but they deprive me; and I pardon them, but they

are rough to me.”The Prophet said: “If you are as you say, it is as if

you are feeding them hot ashes.” [Muslim] This means that the man was

the winner as he had gained the reward. Allaah who does not allow the

reward of those who do good deeds to go astray.

Spouses who treat one another kindly are expecting a good reward and a

happy end from Allaah The Almighty. A husband should not wait for a

reward from his wife; he should wait for that from Allaah The

Almighty. Every Muslim who wishes to possess good and perfect manners

should not hope for reward from other people; rather, he should always

be watchful of Allaah and abide by His Laws, not to have his goodness

or kindness rewarded with a similar attitude, but to gain appreciation

from Allaah who is above the seven heavens. He should do so in order

to find his kind words, manners and good treatment written in the

record of his good deeds on a Daywhen the contents of the graves will

be scattered and that which is within the breasts exposed. If the man

adopts good manners and proves to be a kind husband while his wife is

evil and harms him, he should be patient. Perhaps Allaah will

compensate him with something better.

Talking about Zakariyya (Zachariah) Allaah Says (whatmeans): {And

amended for him his wife.} [Quran 21:90] Some scholars commented on

this verse saying that when Allaah tested Zakariyya by deprivinghim of

offspring, he earnestly turned to Allaah in supplication. Allaah Says

(what means): {[This is] a mention of the mercy of your Lord to His

servant Zechariah. When he called to his Lord a private supplication.

He said, “My Lord, indeed my bones have weakened, and my head

hasfilled with white, and never have I been in my supplication to You,

my Lord, unhappy. And indeed, I fear the successors after me, and my

wife has been barren, so give me from Yourself an heir.”} [Quran

19:2-5]

Prophet Zakariyya supplicated to Allaah at the age of one hundred and

twenty without despair of His Mercy. He supplicated to Allaah at the

end of his life to grant him a child, and Allaah fulfilled his need

and more out of His Bounty. It always happens that when a person

supplicates Allaah with certainty in troubles and hardships, Allaah

answers his supplication and grants him even more than what he asked

for. Thus, Allaah says (what means): {And amended for him his wife.}

[Quran 21:90] Allaahgranted him Yahya (John) and amended his wife.

Some scholars said that his wife would insult and harm him and that

shewas ill-mannered and harsh with him; yet, he remained patient with

her until the end of his life. Accordingly, Allaah compensated him by

granting him a child and making his wife religiously observant who

lived equitably with him.

Hence, if the man lives equitably with his wife and finds good in her,

he should praise Allaah The Almighty; otherwise, he should be patient,

fully believing that Allaah does not allow the reward of the person

who does good deeds to go astray. This also applies to wives whose

good companionship is returned with ill-treatment by their husbands.

She should expect that Allaah would compensate her for her patience

and comfort her pains, and compensate her in her religion, life and

the Hereafter.

Done