Bild 046

i made this mixtape for a friend of mine i once was in love with. i had known her for about a year and almost instantly fallen in love with her and then one night she kissed me, but then wouldn't answer her phone for two days and then she called me and told me, she hadn't been sure about her feelings towards me, but now had reckoned that she didn't love me enough to start a relationship, so we became "just friends", but i secretly still was in love with her for years after that (which i quite regularly told her by sending her a sms at about five a.m.). in an attempt to make her change her mind i once made this mixtape for her. it took me about a week to choose the songs and the order of them (you can see the sheet of paper which i used for that). the main difficulty was not to choose songs, that she would think i only put them on the cd to show off, because they were so rare (you couldn't download any song that easily back then). on the front cover there was a picture of me as i kid on st. martin's day, a crying lego figure and a heart which i copypasted from an authograph by conor oberst. still, she wouldn't get the clues and didn't like the music too much, so i never made another mixtape for her again. you wouldn't be suprised she wouldn't want to be my girlfriend because of this mixtape, though, if you look at the songs. i still listen to the cd once in a while (even though the audiotracks aren't tagged and for that reason don't get added to my lastfmstats), at least more often than she does to her copy, i guess. she is now one of my closest friends of all the friends that i got from falling in love with them before and she's the only girl that can drink beer faster than me, so that's why i still love her (and for various other reasons), but not the crushy kind, more like you love somebody you once were in love with in a crushy way and now you aren't any more, so you just love them like you love someone, who..., well, you get the picture.

Done