2015 Sin in the City Christmas Special 3
Kumi: “You totally messed that one up. Gimme!” *snatches the cookie out from underneath the icing bag, mid-decoration*
Charley (exasperatedly): “Seriously, you have to stop doing that! Yuri gave me a dozen of these to decorate, and you’ve already eaten half of them!”
Kumi: *through mouthful of crumbs* “But you messed it up. Santa’s mouth was all frowny, like he was overdue for his Prozac. You don’t wanna show that to Ri-Ri. She’ll bitch-slap you into next week.”
Charley: “I thought you were the slappy twin.”
Kumi: “When it comes to shoes, yes, but when it comes to flawless pastry presentation, Yuri’s Miz Happy to Get Slappy.”
Charley: *lowers the icing bag, sighs* “Then why did she entrust a newb with decorating the cookies? I told her I didn’t know what I was doing.”
Kumi: “She’s giving you a taste of what it’s going to be like when y’all start prepping for the bake sale in the spring. You’re in cookie boot camp, soldier. You’ll have to pull your weight, or she’ll—”
Charley: “Court-martial me?”
Kumi: “Worse, she’ll look disappointed, sigh deeply, and say, *mimics Yuri’s precise diction* ‘I suppose I shall have to do it myself, then. In fact, perhaps I shall simply do it all. It is not like I have anything better to do than acquiesce to this enormous favor you have imposed upon me, and I suppose it is my own fault for deeming you equal to the task. I will not make such an error in judgement again, daaaaarling.’”
Charley: *cringes* “Oh, geez. You sound just like her, and the shame and guilt I feel are overwhelming…”
Kumi (brightly): “Like a puppy that just pooped on the floor. Get used to it. Ri-Ri’s generous and compassionate, but she’s also exacting and unreasonable. Your bake sale will be an unqualified success with her at the helm, but she may break you in the process.”
Charley: *shrugs, studying Yuri’s perfectly iced cookies for guidance* “I’ve already been broken. What’s another crack?”
Kumi: *polishes off her cookie, studies Charley out of the corner of her eye* “Well, I can’t disagree that you’re cracked…but, in your case, it adds character.”
Charley: “That may be the quasi-nicest thing you’ve ever said to me. Cut it out. You’re weirding me.”
Kumi: “What can I say? The Christmas spirit has moved me to be kind to the less stylish. It’ll pass.”
2015 Sin in the City Christmas Special 3
Kumi: “You totally messed that one up. Gimme!” *snatches the cookie out from underneath the icing bag, mid-decoration*
Charley (exasperatedly): “Seriously, you have to stop doing that! Yuri gave me a dozen of these to decorate, and you’ve already eaten half of them!”
Kumi: *through mouthful of crumbs* “But you messed it up. Santa’s mouth was all frowny, like he was overdue for his Prozac. You don’t wanna show that to Ri-Ri. She’ll bitch-slap you into next week.”
Charley: “I thought you were the slappy twin.”
Kumi: “When it comes to shoes, yes, but when it comes to flawless pastry presentation, Yuri’s Miz Happy to Get Slappy.”
Charley: *lowers the icing bag, sighs* “Then why did she entrust a newb with decorating the cookies? I told her I didn’t know what I was doing.”
Kumi: “She’s giving you a taste of what it’s going to be like when y’all start prepping for the bake sale in the spring. You’re in cookie boot camp, soldier. You’ll have to pull your weight, or she’ll—”
Charley: “Court-martial me?”
Kumi: “Worse, she’ll look disappointed, sigh deeply, and say, *mimics Yuri’s precise diction* ‘I suppose I shall have to do it myself, then. In fact, perhaps I shall simply do it all. It is not like I have anything better to do than acquiesce to this enormous favor you have imposed upon me, and I suppose it is my own fault for deeming you equal to the task. I will not make such an error in judgement again, daaaaarling.’”
Charley: *cringes* “Oh, geez. You sound just like her, and the shame and guilt I feel are overwhelming…”
Kumi (brightly): “Like a puppy that just pooped on the floor. Get used to it. Ri-Ri’s generous and compassionate, but she’s also exacting and unreasonable. Your bake sale will be an unqualified success with her at the helm, but she may break you in the process.”
Charley: *shrugs, studying Yuri’s perfectly iced cookies for guidance* “I’ve already been broken. What’s another crack?”
Kumi: *polishes off her cookie, studies Charley out of the corner of her eye* “Well, I can’t disagree that you’re cracked…but, in your case, it adds character.”
Charley: “That may be the quasi-nicest thing you’ve ever said to me. Cut it out. You’re weirding me.”
Kumi: “What can I say? The Christmas spirit has moved me to be kind to the less stylish. It’ll pass.”