girl gang redux

i've been thinking a lot about friendships lately. there are two people in my current sphere who i really like, and feel the possibility of actual friendships with. but ...

 

one musing has been on how it seems that when young i had a handful or two of very close connections; like family, as sisters and brothers.

 

so deep, so important, i honestly thought they would last forever. i was stunned that most of them ended, and mostly painfully so. i still feel confused, disappointed, guilty, grieved.

 

once full open like a flower in summer bloom, i am now only budded, cautious, wary about what seems like affinities.

 

at 62 i have more than a few friendly acquaintances. but we hardly ever spend time together. we don't talk frequently, for hours, about so many things. we don't have spontaneous, far-flung adventures. and ... the *feeling* just isn't there.

 

don't get me wrong, i know i am lucky to yet have two long-term bonds in my life that i consider to be of that caliber-of-old.

 

and i understand that as we go through the middle decades our lives shift and settle more into routines and responsibilities that require so much of our time and attention. we also simply don't have many of the needs, wants, energies, abilities we once had! we get older!

 

but i sometimes awfully miss that connection, that kinship, those talks and times together ...

 

(photo: my mum, an auntie, and neighborhood crew circa 1950.)

Done