fool's gold

i've become somewhat of a recluse these days. when friends do see me, they ask: "how are you?" but before i say a word, they quickly follow with "you look good, you look good!"

 

on the one hand, i know this is meant to cheer me up; it's a way for them to express care, offer a little bit of tlc by way of complimenting my appearance.

 

on the other hand:

... what a fool believes he sees, no wise man has the power to reason away

what seems to be, is always better than nothing ...

 

i know they just don't want to know what's really going on, let alone believe i'm anything other than "lookin' good"!

 

don't get me wrong, i never intend to put up any sort of false front. my masks are flimsy, sometimes for whimsy, rarely for deception or protection. but if i wear them, all too often it's more for the sake of others, not my own.

 

i don't feel like i'm making sense; i'm confused; a genuine smile, and yet i was feeling so sad, angry, lost, frustrated, scared.

 

you know, i think i took these shots just because i had some free time, and i liked the way my hair looked. how feeble, how sorry is that?

Done