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The rage is unnerving. It is, however, understandable. As vicious seizures take over his fragile mind, making sense of it is difficult. No, making sense of it is impossible. He looks at me but cannot see through the bloodied tears running down his face. His involuntary movements and shaking which the seizure causes have caught his own face. Fingernails cutting into his skin. I could not get to cradle and protect him in time to prevent the harm he had caused himself. I reach him and hold him tight. He is shaking violently. He is crying out in pain and distress and is both deafening and frightening. He struggles with cognitive overloading as he recovers, trying to make sense of it. The unspoken question, why? is in those bloodshot eyes. I have no answer, I just hold him. He manages to say 'Help me'.
These attacks are getting worse. I have managed to arrange a neurologist appointment, still a few days away, but hopefully, if the country's industrial action does not stop the consultation, I will have an opportunity to talk through Marc’s decline. I know deep down that there are no answers. Only prayers and the loving support we give as long as we need to.
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The rage is unnerving. It is, however, understandable. As vicious seizures take over his fragile mind, making sense of it is difficult. No, making sense of it is impossible. He looks at me but cannot see through the bloodied tears running down his face. His involuntary movements and shaking which the seizure causes have caught his own face. Fingernails cutting into his skin. I could not get to cradle and protect him in time to prevent the harm he had caused himself. I reach him and hold him tight. He is shaking violently. He is crying out in pain and distress and is both deafening and frightening. He struggles with cognitive overloading as he recovers, trying to make sense of it. The unspoken question, why? is in those bloodshot eyes. I have no answer, I just hold him. He manages to say 'Help me'.
These attacks are getting worse. I have managed to arrange a neurologist appointment, still a few days away, but hopefully, if the country's industrial action does not stop the consultation, I will have an opportunity to talk through Marc’s decline. I know deep down that there are no answers. Only prayers and the loving support we give as long as we need to.