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7/9

(took this on the 31st of may but uploaded/edited/written comment/whatever on June 1st). This photo is growing on me the more I see it. Editing is really something in itself. Originally, I just picked a random subject to test the camera settings thinking I would take more later.. But no that didnt happen and this was the only shot I took that day. There was some paint your body thingy happening at Yonge and Dundas sponsored by Corona and there were so many awesome subjects to choose from. Sucks that I couldn't build up the courage to ask someone. But seeing the outcome of this picture, the capability of changing an entire photo, making the colours pop, just makes me so excited for what I will be able to produce I. The future when in able to get head shots of people. Street photography. How freaking awesome will that be?? Quite.

 

Today has been quite eventful. Woke up at 7 to be in Brampton for the football tournament by 8. After today, it is pretty much guaranteed I will play defense for the rest of the season. But I guess that's okay because I can feel myself improving as a receiver as well so that's good. Finished the day with a 2-0 record and heading out again tomorrow for some more games. My body is kinda bruised up especially with em's cleat indent (now a bump) on my shin. Now what I really wanted to get at: I am so sensitive. It's funny how I seem to find myself? Maybe? In football. Very cliche of it since it is my favourite sport. (goddangit I wrote a whole shat load of stuff last night on my phone and none of it saved boo). But both yesterday and today just got to me somehow? More so yesterday. It was 3rd down and we were up to return the punt. The ball didn't a bounce? right by me but I didn't bother to touch it. Pretty much everyone.. or what seemed like everyone.. yelled at me. "WHY DIDN'T YOU GET IT?" "THAT WAS YOURS!!!" "WHAT THE FUCK MAN" etc. That's one thing I hate. People angry at me. Angry and disappointed. But Kerrie's face was on a whole other level. It was hate. Written all over her face. In my defense, I didn't want to do anything because back in high school, if you touched it and you missed it, the ball is dead (I think). And so I didn't want to pick it up and drop it dead when we could have probably gained more yards by picking it up at a safer spot. I guess it's not the same case in touch football. Bottom line. I hate people arguing. I hate when people argue with me. I hate when people yell at me. I hate when people are angry at me. I hate when people hate me. Maybe it's because I'm so used to being loved...? But what I absolutely don't understand is how you can yell at your own teammates. Shouldn't you be saying, "next one!" "you got it" instead of putting your anger and blame on someone?

 

Another thing, experienced both today and yesterday. Sportsmanship. Because you dislike someone on the other team, or they pulled your hair, etc. why do the same back? Why yell at them? Call them names? "fucking pussies??" No, I don't do that crap. Other team is hurt? I'm getting down on knee. They get back up? I'm going to clap. They need the ball back on their end and I'm the closest person to it? I'm going to hand it back to them. There is no need to be a dick and be an asshole right back. Was watching Save Me today (great show btw) and they used a bible quote about being a good Samaritan which would have totally been applicable here if I would have remembered.

 

Yesterday (June 1) also marked a year since the "marg came clutch" fiasco as I like to call it. More than a year passed and it's good to know that I know that Salerno still has my back. She's been advising me on stuff now, helped me out with assignments and she really inspires me to be better and to be the best at my craft. As of right now, I'm making it a promise to anyone who may be reading this. Everyone who has helped me along the way of achieving this dream program of mine which seemed so unlikely a year ago, especially Salerno, I owe you lots. I owe you my hard work, persistence, and passion. I'm going to be the best that I can be. I want to be the most knowledgeable motherfucker I can be in physical education/ physical activity. And I am going to learn as much as I can. I'd like to thank Rolls for pointing that out. I am someone who likes to ask questions, who likes to learn and better their game/ themselves.

 

Speaking of Rolls, got to speak to him on the phone for a couple of minutes before our game. He sounds good. Sucks that his voice is so goddamn low I always have a hard time catching what he says and he ends up repeating things 10 times until he gets tired of repeating. I need to tell him sometime that his voice is really fucking low on the phone and he needs to speak at a higher pitch lol. Speaking of speaking of Rolls lol., it kinda sucks (but not really?) how everyone seems to associate me with him? With Pat, he's always like, "Rolli this rolli that.. have you talked to rolli lately.." Chantelle, "they always talk about rolli and you, the coaches you know". jerm to pat: "ya I was telling rolli about her and he wouldn't believe me" tiff, "took a few pics of you and I'm going to show rolli" etc etc. It's great that he loves me and other people see that, but I always have this feeling that I am not enough (for him). I'm enough for myself, but I'm not enough for him. He is way too good for me.

 

Anyways, I think Pat is starting to warm up to me lol. I think we got a good thing going on here.

 

Ended off the tournament today with a 1-7 loss in the B? finals (but no one knew it was the finals lol). Was good. jerm had had a nice talk with all of us and he called me and two other touch rookies out for being the most mentally and physically ready for the tournament and that all three of us had the most fun. Glad he sees that in me. So bust right now. ttyl! :)

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Uploaded on June 1, 2013
Taken on May 31, 2013