tilnom
Like a dove...
Last article of Hrant Dink in AGOS (19 January 2007):
Photo taken from the newspaper Milliyet.
LIKE A DOVE
It is obvious that those wishing to alienate me and make me weak and defenceless reached their goal. Right now they have brought about a significant circle of people who are not low in number and who regard me as someone “insulting Turkish identity” due to the dirty and wrong information.
The diary and memory of my computer is full of messages from citizens of this circle full of rage and threats.
(Let me note that I regarded one among them posted from Bursa as a close threat and submitted it to Public Prosecutor’s office in Şişli but got no result.)
To what extent are these threats real and to what extent unreal? In fact it is impossible for me to know this.
What is the real threat and what is unbearable for me is the psychological torture of myself.
What I have always in my mind is the following question: “What do these people now think of me?”
Unfortunately I am more popular nowadays and feel the look of the people telling each other: “Look, isn’t it that Armenian?”
And just as a reflexaction, I start to torture myself.
One side of this torture is curiousity, the other uneasiness.
One side is caution the other side is skittishness.
I am like a dove...
Like a dove I have my eyes everywhere, in front of me, at the back, on the left, on the right.
My head is as moving as the one of a dove... And fast enough to turn in an instance.
Just look at the price... This is the price
What did Minister of Foreign Affairs Abdullah Gül say? What did Minister of Justice Cemil Çiçek say?
“The issue of Article 301 should not be exagerrated. Is there someone found guilty and sent to prison?”
As if paying a price always means going to prison...
Just look at the price... This is the price...Do you know Ministers what a price it is to imprison someone to the skittishness of a dove?.. Do you know it?..
Don’t you look at the doves at all?...
The thing they call “life and death”
What I all experienced was not an easy process... Neither for me nor for my family.
There were times when I seriously thought about leaving the country.
Especially at moments when the threats focused the ones close to me...
At that point I always remained helpless.
What they call “life and death” should be such a thing actually. I could be the warrior of my own will but I had no right of exposing the life of near relations to danger. I could be my own hero but I had no right to reveal courage at the expense of another person let alone a kin.
Just at these helpless moments I found shelter around my family and children. I found the greatest support from them. They were trusting me.
There would be together with me wherever I went.
They would come when I said “Let’s go” and stay when I said “Let’s stay.”
To stay and resist
But if we go, where then?
To Armenia?
But to what extent could a person like me tolarete the injustice as intolerant as I am at this issue? Wouldn’t I find myself in greater troubles there?
To go and live in European countries wasn’t my style either.
I know myself. After three days abroad, I miss my country. What should I do there?
Ease makes me uneasy!
To leave “boiling hells” and go to “ready heavens” was against my understanding.
We were sort of people desiring to turn hell to heaven.
To stay and live in Turkey was our real wish and and also a must of respect towards all of our known and unknown friends giving the struggle of democracy in Turkey and supporting us.
We would stay and resist.
However if someday we had to go, then we would go like in 1915... like our ancestors... Without knowing where to go.... Walking on the roads they had walked.... Feeling their pain and agony...
With such a reproach we would leave our country. And we would not go to the place of our heart but where our feet went. To whatever place it was.
Frightened and Free
I hope that we are never obliged toexperience such an abandonment. We have enough hope and reasons not to live such a thing.
Now I am applying to European Court of Human Rights.
I don’t know how many years this case will take.
What I know and what relieves me to some extent is the fact that at least I will continue to live in Turkey until this case comes to an end.
When a positive verdict is declared I will surely be happier and then this will mean that I will never have to leave my country.
Probably the year 2007 will be a more difficult year for me.
Trials will continue, new cases will came up in court. Who knows which kind of injustice I will encounter.
But while this all will happen, I will regard the following fact as my guarantee.
Yes, I can feel myself as restless as a dove but I know that in this country people do not touch and disturb the doves.
The doves continue their lives in the middle of the cities.
Yes indeed a bit frightened but at the same time free.
Like a dove...
Last article of Hrant Dink in AGOS (19 January 2007):
Photo taken from the newspaper Milliyet.
LIKE A DOVE
It is obvious that those wishing to alienate me and make me weak and defenceless reached their goal. Right now they have brought about a significant circle of people who are not low in number and who regard me as someone “insulting Turkish identity” due to the dirty and wrong information.
The diary and memory of my computer is full of messages from citizens of this circle full of rage and threats.
(Let me note that I regarded one among them posted from Bursa as a close threat and submitted it to Public Prosecutor’s office in Şişli but got no result.)
To what extent are these threats real and to what extent unreal? In fact it is impossible for me to know this.
What is the real threat and what is unbearable for me is the psychological torture of myself.
What I have always in my mind is the following question: “What do these people now think of me?”
Unfortunately I am more popular nowadays and feel the look of the people telling each other: “Look, isn’t it that Armenian?”
And just as a reflexaction, I start to torture myself.
One side of this torture is curiousity, the other uneasiness.
One side is caution the other side is skittishness.
I am like a dove...
Like a dove I have my eyes everywhere, in front of me, at the back, on the left, on the right.
My head is as moving as the one of a dove... And fast enough to turn in an instance.
Just look at the price... This is the price
What did Minister of Foreign Affairs Abdullah Gül say? What did Minister of Justice Cemil Çiçek say?
“The issue of Article 301 should not be exagerrated. Is there someone found guilty and sent to prison?”
As if paying a price always means going to prison...
Just look at the price... This is the price...Do you know Ministers what a price it is to imprison someone to the skittishness of a dove?.. Do you know it?..
Don’t you look at the doves at all?...
The thing they call “life and death”
What I all experienced was not an easy process... Neither for me nor for my family.
There were times when I seriously thought about leaving the country.
Especially at moments when the threats focused the ones close to me...
At that point I always remained helpless.
What they call “life and death” should be such a thing actually. I could be the warrior of my own will but I had no right of exposing the life of near relations to danger. I could be my own hero but I had no right to reveal courage at the expense of another person let alone a kin.
Just at these helpless moments I found shelter around my family and children. I found the greatest support from them. They were trusting me.
There would be together with me wherever I went.
They would come when I said “Let’s go” and stay when I said “Let’s stay.”
To stay and resist
But if we go, where then?
To Armenia?
But to what extent could a person like me tolarete the injustice as intolerant as I am at this issue? Wouldn’t I find myself in greater troubles there?
To go and live in European countries wasn’t my style either.
I know myself. After three days abroad, I miss my country. What should I do there?
Ease makes me uneasy!
To leave “boiling hells” and go to “ready heavens” was against my understanding.
We were sort of people desiring to turn hell to heaven.
To stay and live in Turkey was our real wish and and also a must of respect towards all of our known and unknown friends giving the struggle of democracy in Turkey and supporting us.
We would stay and resist.
However if someday we had to go, then we would go like in 1915... like our ancestors... Without knowing where to go.... Walking on the roads they had walked.... Feeling their pain and agony...
With such a reproach we would leave our country. And we would not go to the place of our heart but where our feet went. To whatever place it was.
Frightened and Free
I hope that we are never obliged toexperience such an abandonment. We have enough hope and reasons not to live such a thing.
Now I am applying to European Court of Human Rights.
I don’t know how many years this case will take.
What I know and what relieves me to some extent is the fact that at least I will continue to live in Turkey until this case comes to an end.
When a positive verdict is declared I will surely be happier and then this will mean that I will never have to leave my country.
Probably the year 2007 will be a more difficult year for me.
Trials will continue, new cases will came up in court. Who knows which kind of injustice I will encounter.
But while this all will happen, I will regard the following fact as my guarantee.
Yes, I can feel myself as restless as a dove but I know that in this country people do not touch and disturb the doves.
The doves continue their lives in the middle of the cities.
Yes indeed a bit frightened but at the same time free.