Sinner
Musings from my diary.
I’m a sinner.
Today I contemplate a woman l saw in the newspaper; her name was Jessica Snir.
She reminds me of a woman l saw at saint Kilda some were in the 90s about twenty years ago. She had a white top on, black pants, and Doc Martins. She looked very contemplative, a bit too much so. I generally never approach strangers to talk, let alone young woman who are alone. I said “hi” and then “you are very beautiful”, then l said “buy”, she asked me to stay… “It is more sincere if l leave “, l told her, and that it was a genuine complement. “If l stay it would seem like l wanted something”. She said, “thank you” and smiled. To be honest l didn’t want to leave. I asked if l could take her photo with my old Pentax zoom that had gone to Vietnam on a trip, with another beautiful young woman with dreads, she had tort me how to kiss. She had taken a wonderful photo of a floating lotus while she was there.
I still have the photo of her that l took that day at Saint Kilda on the break way. I sometimes find it by accident in boxes of photos, and l find myself wondering what it would have been like to have kissed her. And what would have come of it. I so much wanted to at the time. Luckily, she was spared. Today I sit and wonder if l changed her life, with a little moment we shared. Because she had changed mine.
She was mathematically, a per butterfly effect; and like whispering the word Torana, I cast my thoughts to the either, an old friend. This time hoping it will come back as a Gaussian solid, in an inverse reciprocal to a moment I spoke a few words.
The flutter of tiny wings and a ripple in a great ocean that never stopped.
“And it is written”
Am l human?
xxx
Sinner
Musings from my diary.
I’m a sinner.
Today I contemplate a woman l saw in the newspaper; her name was Jessica Snir.
She reminds me of a woman l saw at saint Kilda some were in the 90s about twenty years ago. She had a white top on, black pants, and Doc Martins. She looked very contemplative, a bit too much so. I generally never approach strangers to talk, let alone young woman who are alone. I said “hi” and then “you are very beautiful”, then l said “buy”, she asked me to stay… “It is more sincere if l leave “, l told her, and that it was a genuine complement. “If l stay it would seem like l wanted something”. She said, “thank you” and smiled. To be honest l didn’t want to leave. I asked if l could take her photo with my old Pentax zoom that had gone to Vietnam on a trip, with another beautiful young woman with dreads, she had tort me how to kiss. She had taken a wonderful photo of a floating lotus while she was there.
I still have the photo of her that l took that day at Saint Kilda on the break way. I sometimes find it by accident in boxes of photos, and l find myself wondering what it would have been like to have kissed her. And what would have come of it. I so much wanted to at the time. Luckily, she was spared. Today I sit and wonder if l changed her life, with a little moment we shared. Because she had changed mine.
She was mathematically, a per butterfly effect; and like whispering the word Torana, I cast my thoughts to the either, an old friend. This time hoping it will come back as a Gaussian solid, in an inverse reciprocal to a moment I spoke a few words.
The flutter of tiny wings and a ripple in a great ocean that never stopped.
“And it is written”
Am l human?
xxx